❤️Canadian Cutie❤️

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2022-11-16 21:18:22 (UTC)

Ripped The Band-Aid Off❤️

Listening to: Monsters - Shinedown (love love this song)
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Good Evening!❄️
We have a snowsquall watch on. I soaked in the hot tub as I watched the snowfall. It's so beautiful! That said, I need to book a trip to the Caribbean this winter lol. I am a beach bunny, not a snow bunny lol.

Just a very quick entry. I have not been feeling the best. My tummy has been hurting for two days so I have been kinda quiet. Not sick or anything. Actually quite the opposite lol. I have had a bundle of energy so I spent it wrapping gifts and decorating my house. My house is decorated but I still have to put my tree up. Even outside I have my Christmas lights up. I am so ahead of the game this year and super excited about it.

So, after days of confusion and hesitation, I ripped the bandaid off. I ended things with the guy I was set to meet on Tuesday. While he is super nice, I just don't feel the connection. I did tell him I needed to slow down a little as he was moving SO fast. He did originally agree to do so and even did but he went right back to it this past week. He was even getting upset when I did not respond to messages right away. I do not live on my phone. I am guilty of it in the past but now? I don't. I answer when I can. He was getting upset that it took me an hour or so to answer and kept making me feel guilty about it. He even brought up my ex saying "I thought you two talked all day, every day" I told him we did but in the last year I have cut back on all screen time. I was so consumed with my ex and what was happening in the world that I was missing out on what's happening in my own life now so I made the choice, for my own health, to limit screen time. It's been the best decision for me. He thinks he pushed too hard and in ways he did but I did not want to hurt him by saying so. I just said I am not feeling the connection he deserves. I told him it's not fair he's holding off meeting others in hopes I can get there. He said "I want it to be you honestly" which made me feel horrible. He seems like a really good guy but I just am not feeling all the things he is and it's wrong to drag him along hoping I will get there. No, it's not me sabotaging myself. I just genuinely do not feel the connection and meeting him would likely complicate it even more. You meet if the desire is there, it's not. He was understanding but hurt, obviously. I didn't mean to hurt him....I feel bad :(

Early morning tomorrow as I have a nail appointment at 8am, blech lol. Oh well, I am always more productive in the day when I get up early lol. Think I am going to turn in early and give my tummy a rest.

Have a beautiful night!💜




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