❤️Canadian Cutie❤️

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2022-11-08 21:59:13 (UTC)

Why Wasn't I Enough? ❤️

Listening to: Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved
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Good Evening!🌙
It has been a crazy busy few days. I have been running non-stop but it's been very good and very productive. I still have lots to do but I am taking tomorrow to relax some as I am completely exhausted.

I am still talking to the guy just across the border. I did have to tell him he is moving too fast for me as he was lol. He was telling me he was already addicted to me and talking about future plans. Slow down cowboy lol. That will spook me. I am still trying to find my footing since my last relationship ended. He did agree to slow down as he said the last thing he wants to do is spook me. He seems super genuine and real and really seems like he cares what I think and feel. I sometimes think I sabotage it because I am always seeking this "connection" I know exists but give up easily because I don't feel it from hello which really is not reasonable. I think we need to meet to see what is there. I did ask him about his expectations for meeting the first time as I will not rush into intimacy (I did not say that last part lol). He said he wanted to buy me lunch and just get to know me. He's willing to cross a border to buy me lunch. That speaks volumes.

Today I was out of town and in a city where I spent some time with my ex in. I went there the night before and stayed overnight to see him the next morning. Being there, I felt kinda sad. While I am over the breakup and to be honest, being there. I felt sad. The memories. I drove by the hotel I stayed in and felt a twinge of hurt. Driving home, remembering the memories of my ride home that next day and the thoughts I had then, filled me while driving home today. I was glad to leave that town. I never thought it would phase me as it did. I never thought that would be our last time. I often wonder why I wasn't enough for him. I wonder why he was always looking for more online while we were together. Maybe I am not as healed as I thought. Twin Flames lol, it's such a complicated relationship.

I had a visitor the other night in bed (No, not that type, unfortunately, lol) I was laying on my side and the blankets were barely over my shoulders. I was scrolling my phone and I felt the blanket pulled over my shoulder and a light pressure on my arm. I was wide awake.. It did not bother me as I knew it was a gentle spirit. I have had similar happenings most of my life and it is comforting.

Well, I am off to take my puppies out one last time and watch one of my sappy Hallmark Christmas Movies. I have so many recorded now lol.

Have a beautiful night!💜




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