A lifetime of pain and healing
Ad 2:
2022-11-07 17:36:03 (UTC)

I've been working long ..

I've been working long hours. I went on a long trip with work. I had been paired with a guy to go. He wasn't too happy about it I could tell. I tried to tell myself I was wrong and that my anxiety was getting in my head again. We came back and I had to make a split second decision to floor it or slam my breaks so I floored it. The guy in the back was like what just happened and said his life flashed before his eyes. I tried to laugh it off. We went to McDonald's afterwards and I parked the ambulance at the gas pump and walked over to McDonald's after getting gas. We were standing in McDonald's and he said where is the ambulance. I told him it was at the gas station. He looked out the door and said are you fucking serious? You have a lot to learn. . in front of everyone in McDonald's. When I got back to the ambulance he was yelling and cussing. I just stayed quiet and ate my food. We got back to the station later that night and the next shift had come in. He we sat down and he took a call from his ex girlfriend. And then he said oh and we are fucking. The other 2 looked at me and I was like excuse me? He said his ex said that I was his new girlfriend. I shook my head. At this point I figured he would start screaming and acting crazy as he had been doing. He went on about the trip and told the other crew that he didn't like me several times.. one of them spoke up and said that was rude. He continued and said he only worked with me because he had to and didn't like me but tolerated me. As the conversation went on he asked me how old I am and I said 30 and he was like damn you're old. The only response I could think of was I'm sorry. I had to write a report last night about his behavior. It makes me nervous. Unrealistically because I know most likely he wouldn't actually hurt me but I can't help thinking that he's a bit too violent for the kind of energy I want to be around. I thought about it for a while and I had exhausted myself trying to get everyone to like me and get along with everyone. Somehow even though I've had very little contact with most of the crews I'm already disliked. I don't know any of them. Now that I had to write that report I just feel it's going to start drama because I found out the guy is trying to get a supervisor position. I definitely do not want to work under him. So really I guess my anxiety turned out to be right. I am glad that he outright told me he didn't like me or want to work with me because most people would pretend to like me and then talk about me with other people. Somehow I've turned this around on myself and made it my fault.