Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
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2022-11-05 00:31:27 (UTC)

feels weird

This whole situation feels weird to me, we love each other, he doesn't trust me, feels I don't trust him (but I do tho). The passion is still there that's for sure. He is my person, my safe place against the world and I went and fucked it up. Now we are nice to each other when we see each other in the kitchen, we text, but still haven't talked. It's just weird. We are separating, not sure when, thinking maybe he is moving out next weekend??? He says it's just to clear his head and think things through. All I can hear is 'he is leaving me OMG I will just die'. I know I won't really die, I believe I have said I was a bit dramatic.

All these years I thought I was taking the norco to try to get my energy back, seems norco was actually suppressing it. So I am a ball of energy, but yet I used up all my physical energy at work today, so I am a chilling on the couch ball of energy right now.

My mind is going a mile a minute, I just can't figure out how to get Mike to stay, He won't talk to me, nor look me in the eye, he is still mad at me

If he would just talk to me, I could at least try to explain. Well how do you explain that you have a brain that once it has a taste of something good (norco) it will stop at nothing to keep it coming. How do you explain that a grown ass woman couldn't stop taking a pill? That a little pill was controlling her every thought, every move?

I don't know, I am just feeling sorry for myself tonight