Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
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2022-10-31 11:38:19 (UTC)

what if?

The worse question asked in rehab....What if, not that we think it will, from the way we can tell you feel about him, and he is still there, in the home, taking your calls, but WHAT IF, he doesn't stay????

I honestly could feel my face and heart just drop. Well then this is a consequence of my deceit and I will just leave

So, while that's not exactly what happened, he is leaving, only because he thinks we should be separated for a while. I guess to see if what we have is enough?? still not sure, says he needs to digest things..

I am just going to pull up my big girl pants, suck it up and accept this as one of the destructions of my deceit. While, I can see that my using could have ended up a whole lot worse, I didn't kill anyone, overdose, get arrested, lose a job...I may have ended up losing the greatest thing in my life, but this is what I deserve. I knew this was a chance when I was taking the drug and I knew this was a chance every time I lied to him about taking norco, I knew this was a chance while in rehab....I just honestly didn't think it was a possibility, the love we had was so real.

People honestly love Mike, he just doesn't see it. I mean he has a lot of friends, he knows everyone, people really love him. He just doesn't think they do. I know I do and always will. I hope this works out the way I plan, but I am strong enough for whatever lies ahead