Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
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2022-10-29 17:11:30 (UTC)

I suck

I was the one who was a fucking drug addict, it was all me. Not one single person made me take norco, I did it, I own it all. So why does everyone around me keep saying they suck???? I AM THE ONE THAT SUCKS

Mike, thinks he sucked because he didn't see that his own wife, he absolutely adores, was a fucking addict? He didn't suck, I was just a super cute, manipulating, good actress, I hid it well. So he didn't suck, I have always known that he was in my corner, I just hid it from the world, not just him. I suck.

Sister, thinks she sucks because she did say that I was right they (her and my parents) stop calling, but only because I never answered the phone, most likely true so I get that, all valid points. She didn't suck though I have always known she was in my corner, I just hid from the world, not just her. I suck

My boss thinks she sucks because she must have been mean and put too much stress on me, no, not at all. She didn't suck I sucked, I know now she is in my corner, and that's a nice thing to know.

Side note, get more cats treats when I get paid, this little boy of mine will not leave me alone today, he is awfully cuddly and I am loving it. So he just earned them some extra treats.

I'm just trying to say no one is to blame for my addiction problem, I knew I had a problem with alcohol well when I was 27 I went to rehab, ironically, 27 years later I went to rehab for norco. I knew when I took that first one that I was taking a chance, I gave no fucks, my life sucked that bad at that moment in time I was a goner. Mike couldn't of saved me I didn't even know him at that time, so I was hooked before he met me, how is this his fault? how does he feel that I didn't love him enough to stop? I don't know I just wish people would quit saying they sucked, this had nothing to do with anyone...I was the one who sucked...

notice I said sucked, because I don't anymore, I am here, I am real, I am raw, I am vulnerable, I am open, I am love and honesty, light, sparkles and rainbows