Gone mental

Notes from my Black
2022-10-28 03:51:34 (UTC)

IDK diary

I’ve tried to be true to what I want and who I am. She doesn’t make that easy… which at least to me sounds counter to being in a relationship. Her words say, “Be me”. It seems every time I get comfortable with opening up and actually being me, I’m cut down and told I’m not enough. I’m not a jerk. I’m not a drinker, smoker, druggie… I don’t cheat… I don’t even sweat all that much. I don’t question and never have questioned her about her friends. I trust. It seems kinda ideal, right?

I don’t know where or how I go wrong.m, but to be certain, I am in her eyes.

The last few days we’ve been at an arm length. Coexisting again. That fine I guess. It’s whatever… I thought we could make a go of it this time. Damn I’m naive.

She did help me today when I asked. That was nice-ish. I needed to rewrite something. She took over and just bulldozed over me. I didn’t have it in me to say anything. I just corrected the grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. Believe it or not, if it’s not 3am or 11pm, I don’t make as many errors… also typing on my phone is not ideal. Auto correct is fine much of the time, but I tend to not re read what I write here. So weird stuff happens. Maybe you noticed…?

Anyway, gotta be up early. Night diary.
K




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