Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
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2022-10-27 01:27:21 (UTC)

He was alone

I was surrounded and still am surrounded by love (already overwhelmingly so) what I mean in rehab, they basically bless those people's heart, love you til you can love yourself. Since I have been home it's all been poor sweet Michele let's treat her with extra love and care she needs it right now. She is a baby omg. I get it but omg

But poor Mike was alone. Even the preacher who he had help me told him after he asked for help "don't worry about yourself right now focus on her, she needs you more than ever right now"

Even when I came home I thought it was all about me. After all I did what I was supposed to do to fix it. I asked him to hold me, always about me

Always about me, my old diary was full of hate. Everyone said I was using him for what he could do for me. They said I never loved him. They were wrong though. I do love him

He did and had taken care of every need I have had for the last 10 years. This man has never let me down, honestly it only changed when he BUSTED ME OUT AND BETRAYED ME in my addict brain

Is this normal? He has never given me a reason not to trust him, other than the last 8 months of his careless spending. Let's be clear though he didn't not pay any bills or anything like that. Just whenever we had extra he spent it not how I would of agreed to let's just say

But I wasn't in my right mind at the time so there is no blame.

Like I said we aren't fuck ups, we just fucked up

He feels like I will bring shit up in a year (ex wife you thinking of there)

I just now want him to hurry up and move the fuck out so he can move back home



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