Diary writing person
Slowly descending into madness
I did a bad thing. Yesterday ..
I did a bad thing. Yesterday mom again started talking about marriage, I pinned it down on someone else. Told her I'm not ready for marriage because I'm in love with someone else. Which is true but shielding myself with that person, idk if it's right or wrong. Prolly wrong but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
I'm crying. How did I let a person damage me so much? How tf did I put up with his bullshit months after months? And how did I believe that he loves me and there's no hint of love. There's none. There's nothing but pure disgust I feel.
Sometimes I feel like contacting him. And just pour my heart out. But I know I won't. For the past few months, I never contacted him consciously. I'm hurting. Please.