Gone mental

I asked yesterday

My aunt died before I was born. It runs in the family… not meeting great grandparents seems normal to me. Not having any aunts or uncles seems normal too. This one left a note and my sister came across it a month ago. I’ve asked to see it, twice now. I don’t know why I want to. I don’t know this person at all. I don’t know her 3 kids she left behind, or their three half siblings. I’ve seen maybe 3 pictures of her. I don’t recognize her any time I am shown an image. There are lots of people I don’t recognize, but I do wish I could. Maybe this is my way of knowing her. My thoughts were partially wondering if my own note from years ago sounds like hers. There are things in this family that are not great, this is one of them. I don’t want to just focus on the glossy exterior. It’s time to be real… and yeah, the successes some have are real, but these things are shared by all of us and no one talks about it.