Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
2022-10-26 01:38:38 (UTC)


Rehab: Do you have a plan for when you leave and you go back out in the real world, you have been pretty much sheltered and loved for the last 6 weeks?

Me: Yes, I do, I am going home, loving on my husband, daughter and my cats. Not doing anything else, but going to church the next day and visit my parents.

Rehab: Not saying he won't be, after all, he has been there, answering your phone calls, he brought you here, BUT what if he isn't there?

Me: Well that would absolutely break my heart, but I would cry and just get it all out.

This isn't even all about a bank statement, actually. I just am the queen of rationalization (addict brain) but I can't for the life of me rationalize why you left me the night I came home (2 days early, only a surprise because you didn't answer your phone)

We parted with the promises of a new fresh start, 100% honesty but you were pissed when you found out I was on my way home, then you got the fuck out of there the minute I ran to the store. You left me when I needed you the most, but that's fine I was mentally prepared thanks to rehab

I never really thought you would let me go though, really. Any ways while I already stated in rehab I went to every class, paid attention to everything. Except, relationships...the part about not getting into any new relationships for at least 1 year. I didn't listen because I was already in a relationship, or so I thought. I just know that I can't at least for a year but that's totally fine.

Mike feels like he will die alone. So not true, he is so cute and so adorable. I have been bragging about how lucky I was to be with him for the last 10 years, the women will be lining up. For his cooking if not just the sex. Well he said he has never been this good with anyone else, it's like we crave each other (another addiction of mine I'm working on apparently since we won't be doing it anymore...well unless he really wants to I suppose)

piece begins with me!