rotten

basic bitch interacting with other kids

i'm setting into a routine of writing these entries while i'm waiting for my hair to dry. while i should be sleeping. it's another "early" morning for me tomorrow, as in the bus leaves at 10.15 lol - it's the last paja day of the week for me. they're closed on thursday and on friday it's the halloween party, but for me it's staying at home with a drowsy doggo. i finally booked her a "dentist" (lots of bunny ears today i see) appointment, so. it's buh-bye money for me. it's insane how expensive vets are. ridiculous. i was supposed to call another, cheaper place, but somehow that hasn't happened... big surprise there. i like supporting my vet though, especially since they put up a sign that says they can't offer payment plans for more than half the sums anymore, so i kinda got the sense that they're struggling - and it's a great place, everyone's always super friendly and the vet has a lot of experience, a really good reputation and all that jazz. i'm pretty nervous about the appointment tho - w's never been under anesthesia before, at least not that i know of (i'm not sure about her first year). i know the risks are not particularly high and it's pretty much a routine procedure, but i would't be myself if i didn't catastrophize the hell out of everything, so naturally that's what i'm doing. it's almost making me wanna believe in wish-granting god and praying again. tbh i'm pretty sure that before the clock hits 13.30 on friday i've pleaded "oh god please don't let her die" in my head at least half a dozen times. perhaps i should pray to all the gods i know of, just in case? like glenn does in 'superstore' when the hurricane hits them. i don't wanna risk accidentally finding a new religion though - i'm hardly out of the last one, dang it.

while we're on the subject, let me say "oh god" - for i'm on the 1st episode of season 9 of 'the office' and i did not remember the ending (creed's circus talk) and just laughed out loud for a good minute. dammn i love this show. which kinda makes me a basic bitch, but i don't care. i never understood people who pretended not to like things they liked just because everyone else also liked those things. i mean i do get the u-r-g-e to be like that, but as always, i blame society. embrace the cringe! it's all about the attitude. why make life's pleasures into quilty ones? isn't trying to be different just for the sake of it kinda dumb? although... i might just be saying this because i've always been hella weird without even trying - instead i'd actually argue i couldn't escape it if i tried, so. perhaps that's why liking generic shit is a positive thing to me? or maybe i'm faking, just to be the flipping snowflake hipster that i am ...by being a basic bitch? idk. even i myself am not following this trail of thoughts anymore. ohh boy i need sleep.

my to do -list had dishes on it today. i didn't wash them. i did however do two loads of laundry, and cook, so at least that's something. i'm glad i went to the paja today too (originally i debated between tuesday and thursday because i forgot about the place being closed on thursday), even if the things i got done in there weren't things i planned on getting done. i'm seriously behind on that crappy online therapy of mine, but i just didn't feel like jibberjabber-answering the app's ridiculous questions. i still gotta do it tho, and soon... but! one girl who i talked to wanted to follow me on instagram, which i guess is a good thing? is that how the kids nowadays make friends? heck, i don't know. people born after the year 2000 scare the living shit out of me just by being older than 4 or 5. also, a guy i've seen pretty much every day i've been there asked me if i was coming to the bujo group tomorrow - look at me, socially interacting with other kids! they kinda feel like literal kids to me though, at least some of them (18-35 is quuuite a wide range). btw my answer was "i hope so, depends on my sleep really", and on that note; maybe i should quit the self sabotage and get myself tucked in.