Never Broken
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2022-10-24 22:58:41 (UTC)

It did not work…

Well, my plan did not work, as I feared it might not. My father could have co-operated, but he refused. I don’t know why he is being such an ass right now. He told me if things were that severe, I should cancel my surgery. Does he not understand that if I cancel the surgery I probably will not have use of my right arm in six months? I cannot cancel this surgery. However, I also need to keep myself in this flat and keep my boys eating for the next several weeks. So, as one could imagine, it leaves me a bit stretched.

It was a very exhausting, painful, stressful and oddly calming day. I talked to Carrie for six hours today. It is a good thing, a blessing, that she too has an iPhone, for if she did not, I should know my phone bill would be extremely high. Carrie actually helped me a lot. For a person who has only been a member of the Catholic Church for a year, she sure does have her act together. She is wise, caring and sincere and I somehow feel like I am taking advantage of her.

I don’t know why I feel that way, I just do. I don’t want anything but the best for her, and for her family. SOme of the revelations she made about her husband left me with concern though, I must say that. Well, I must confess to being exhausted. I’ve been crying on and off all day. Not bad tears. Cleansing tears.

Of course, S had to be a bossy bitch for a part of the day, and Carrie heard her doing it. She asked if S was my mother, by the way she was talking and acting. Don’t worry, I did not laugh. S is just S. I don’t know what else to say. I guess I will relax with a podcast for a little bit and then go to sleep.