Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
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2022-10-20 23:26:34 (UTC)


Entry from rehab:

Do you miss me? SURE

Do you love me? SURE

what the fuck is that? SURE??? SURE??? SURE???

"If I didn't love you, you wouldn't be there and I wouldn't be here"

what the fuck???

I need you right now and I feel like you're pulling away. I'm scared, I'm here for another 6 days. It's hard with so much boring down time, now I'm worried if I still have a husband.

I'm not going to focus on this for any longer than it takes to write this letter because I am not here to worry about you, I am here to work on me

But I feel like if you are going to leave me you should just be honest about it and let me know

I do love you, no fucking SURE about it

today was a boring ass day, then this phone call with Mike

today sucked, but I still didn't want to use


that was what I wrote on the day. This was after like a 5 minute phone call with Mike. I had said I love you and he didn't say anything, so I asked "do you love me?" SURE wow deep breath in deep breath out "do you miss me?" SURE

so yeah I knew, I already knew we were over. I knew it in my heart.