Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
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2022-10-19 22:33:39 (UTC)

work bestie

At work we are all friends, but there is this one super sweet ray of sunshine. I honestly can't say enough good things about her, all I know is that she could tell something was up on Wednesday, my last day worked, she said I was super anxious and super, well all over the place she asked my daughter if I was ok because we haven't really been talking much at work because we used to share an office together for about 2 years, they finally separated us for talking too much...who me??? She was amazing, anyways that Friday I text her

Good morning, Kim told me that you said we don't talk much anymore I told her that was because every time I go over to your office N pops in, nothing personal. I stopped taking that norco and I guess I didn't realize how bad the anxieties would be. I have never felt like this before. I have an appointment today with an inpatient place. I feel as if everything that has happened in the last 15 years just blew up in my face. So obviously I won't be in today and maybe not for a while I have no clue. Just know I love you. You are my ray of sunshine in a dark place.

She said "Let me know if you need anything, love and kisses

When I checked into rehab I can say I wasn't really worried about my job being there when I got out, I knew that with C there helping N they would be ok, everything will be alright

She was killed that night in an automobile accident, I didn't find out until the following Tuesday, then yesterday seeing her office, all the things she bought me to decorate my office, that was hard, really hard

but I didn't have to go in there alone, one of the ladies there went in with me. I did it, these past 43.58 I have been doing all kind of things I would normally just not do.

The thing I am super happy about is that while I didn't admit the whole extent of my norco use, she did know that I was prescribed them, I'm telling you I was seriously ready to quit. I'm so glad that she knew that I was going to get help, she would be so proud of me. It's now been 43.58 days since I took a norco.

I made it to my second day at work, I have wasted a lot of years giving into my anxieties rather than just dealing with them

the owner of the company came in yesterday and said "Michele your back!" then he shut the door, shit here come the anxieties, is he disappointed in me? gonna fire me?

"so you all good now? Is this behind you?"

I said yes, he said good, stood up and left

that went so much better than it could of.