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Starting over
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2022-10-19 11:15:32 (UTC)

october 15th evening 1st meeting

Hello my name is Michele and I am an addict. Today I am 39 days clean of a long term use of norco. I just completed rehab and got home today. I was thinking things were fine with my marriage but he left me as soon as I came home. And as shitty as that is I didn't even think about numbing the pain. Of course there is a lot of pain and a lot or tears but I didn't even want to numb the pain.

people were like "wow what a nice guy" and started bashing Mike. I stopped them though, I said I wasn't bashing him at all I just summed up my day. I was just stating the fact that I didn't even think about numbing the pain, I felt it. I let it out, it felt good

I knew the last Friday night there they asked "Well Michele you are going to be released tomorrow tell us how you hope your day will go" I will get to love on Mike, Kim and my cats. Get started at this new life of 100% honesty I was shooting for. but I had anxieties about Mike I wasn't sure we could get past this. I had deceived him for a long time. Everyone there knew how much I loved him and he was still there (meaning he was still taking my calls (well actually he didn't that night, he had migraine) living in our home so they were pretty positive everything would work out....

but if it doesn't what is your plan? Then I will just leave as soon as I can because this is a consequence for my deceit. I will surround myself with love, I am strong I will be alright.

so when Mike text "dont trust you you dont trust me. you wanna take everything I like away Im not changing"

I took it as it's over, I mean how could you not take it that way? I deserve everything that I did, I knew it was a chance. so when I responded ok fine I will leave at the end of the month I was respecting his wishes, it's over "what will you do if he doesn't stay?" then I will just leave as soon as I can because this is a consequence for my deceit.

Mike took it as my first reaction was to bail

Peace begins with me~

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