Never Broken
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2022-10-19 03:23:18 (UTC)

Inspections and more S.

Tuesday morning we were supposed to be prepared for inspection. I do not know if they came though, as I had to go to the doctor and was there longer than I had planned. About two hours in total. I took my wee terrier with me because all animals were supposed to be in cages and he doesn’t like the cage, so I put his service dog vest on and brought him along. He was an angel, as usual.

On the way out the door, S was doing something and an object bumped her finger. What did she do? She did not curse and swear as one might do when hurting a finger. She threw herself down on the floor and cried. No, not cried, wailed, screamed, even. For about ten minutes this went on. An examination of her finger did not show any marks or deformities. I didn’t say anything to her, but this angered me. She has no idea what living with pain is like. If I were to weep, wail and scream every time I feel pain, they’d have committed me to asylum long ago. At any rate, a few minutes later, the same object dropped and fell on her foot, which sparked off another round of screaming and crying. I can’t help but wonder if she did all of that in a subconscious, or conscious for all I know, ploy to make me feel sympathy towards her after our fight on Monday.

Speaking of S…. Sometimes, it’s the little things that get me the most. The things that build up resentment and about which I say nothing. I try to be, I am not perfect because I am only human, an honest man. So, when we were in the doctor’s surgery, and she told this story about my dog and how he is 14, has only 4 teeth and cannot hear or see well, this bothered me. Yes, he is 14, but he has 11 teeth and his sight is grand for a dog of his age and his hearing is superb. I have not, no, can not, say anything to her. She might kick off and she definitely wouldn’t understand why it’s an issue for me.

I don’t know what today will bring. I’m terrified, honestly.