Cryingsoul

Misfortunate Mistake

I made the misfortunate mistake of thinking l could work thing's out with 'him'. I even had the audacity to tell him that he wasn't who l truely wanted to be with. I can't and won't carry on this facade any longer. Just the very thought of 'him' nauseates me right though to my very soul. I have given up the idea things might work out eventually, because they won't. How can l possibly be with someone knowing my heart and emotional thought's are for someone else.

I can't eat, l can't sleep, l have blinding headaches, my whole spark for life itself has been extinguished by my own stupidity. I feel like i'm mourning a death that hasn't happened. I feel like my whole insides has been taken out jumbled around and crudely replaced. My stress levels have increased. l have a general sense of melancholy about me that i'm sure will never be fixed, let alone healed. My missing the 'one' is having such a detrimental impact on me. The sense of loss is overwhelmingly too much for me to endure. l literally have difficulty facing each new day with a smile on my face. I miss him so very much.