Never Broken
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2022-10-02 14:14:23 (UTC)

Stop procrastinating? I’ll get round to it!

If one must examine oneself for faults, one eventually finds some things in the character that are not very appealing. In this self examination, I again find myself coming to the conclusion that I am a consistent procrastinator. My father says consistency is a good thing. Somehow, I don’t think he had procrastination in mind when he said it.

There is so much I need to do. Partly, my sluggishness to get things done is a result of severe chronic pain. Partly, it is due to a sense of malaise — of just not caring until, with sudden finality, I come to the realisation that if I don’t care, things are going to come crashing down round my ears. In many ways, I am a man of action. When it comes to fighting for my country, or the republican cause, I’m all in, all the time. Never a second thought in my mind. When it comes to my personal issues however, I just can’t find the energy to care. I’m in too much pain, too tired, too busy, can’t find something I need. Yes, I am full of excuses.

I am going to make an attempt, I don’t know how successful it will be, to moderate my behaviour. Procrastination is ok, to a point, when you’re talking about the laundry or doing the washing up, but when we’re talking about other things, well, it does one no good to put them off and then flounder trying to get them done in time. Yes, I know, I work best under stress, but am I going to have to pay with my health for this constant act of putting my head in the sand? Yes, I think so.