I must confess to missing my love particularly strongly this day. I wish she were here to experience the beauties of this world. Yes, we do live in a rather messed up world. God has given us so many beautiful things and we, as human beings, have made a mess of it all. I find myself again talking to her. Telling her about my upcoming shoulder surgery, getting my puppy and the beautiful flat in which I now reside. Everything I do makes me think of her. I read something and I think, “Oh, I must tell Constance about that,” and then I realise that, in fact, she is gone and I can’t tell her anything.
It has been a quiet day here. I have gotten my work done early and am now watching documentaries. Surgery will be difficult without Constance here, to be sure. I will have to talk with S today and explain that she will have to avoid going to her boyfriend’s house for the first 24 hours after surgery, as I am to have someone with me for that time period. I doubt she will be happy with this, but she’s pretty much living here rent free, until December, anyway, so she can do that for me. After all, I very rarely ask her for anything, even things she is supposed to be doing. I know I said I would write more about her, and our former relationship and the state of our “friendship?” But I don’t want to think too much about her now, as I am in a good mood. I am in pain, but it is not quite as severe as normal. I am a bit tired, but this is par for the course.
I’m going back to Battle Factory now. This one is about combat meals.