The Ill Mind Of Luna
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2022-09-27 02:45:22 (UTC)

Motherhood is hard, kinda sucks, but worth it.

I have been wanting a place put my most honest thoughts, I'm glad I finally found a place and I hope I like it and stick with it.
Welcome to my ted talk. Motherhood is really hard, being a woman is already hard but add a whole other life and holy shit, good luck catching a break in the next 3 to 5 years. Sleep deprivation is 100% real, and I now understand why it was used as a torture method. Dark I know, not sorry though.
Women really do it all, not all but you know what I mean, especially SAHMs (stay at home mom(s)- they get the short stick every time. I should know. My husband however is wonderful, his way of speaking is sometimes aggressive in a way that makes him sound so harsh though. He used to not even realize he was being an asshole till I stopped hiding how his tone of voice would give me PTSD. Thankfully he has realized and has been working on it.
Now, my baby boy Henry, he is currently 3 months old and a pain in the butt sometimes but thats just because I'm still adjusting to being a mom and being CONSTANTLY being needed and touched when no one depended on me 3 months ago to stay alive- it's hard work.
I'm ashamed to admit that there have been times where I have had split second thoughts of regret of having kids. I'm the one that desperately wanted to become a mom and here I am having doubts? Ya, I feel like a shit person and shit mom- but I am after all, only human.
I love my son so much though, he recently started smiling back when you smile at him and its the cutest thing I've ever seen. I started singing a song I recently discovered called 'i don't want to set the world on fire" by The Ink Spots. Suuuuuper old song and I'm in love with it and I can tell Henry is too. I sing him that song whenever I change his diaper so he wont cry and he smiles so big throughout the whole song, he doesn't do it with any other song. When I look at him, all the doubt I feel in myself melts away and is replaced with nothing but pure love and happiness, especially when he smiles back.
Motherhood is hard, kinda sucks, but 100% worth it.

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