kestrel

kestrel
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2022-09-25 19:12:40 (UTC)

Odd Dream

Personal entry follows. If someone else is actually reading this and you happen to think reading about other peoples' dreams is boring or uninteresting, then I suggest you skip this one.
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I wanted to write this down before I forgot it completely. It was such a striking dream, and it was the closest thing to a nightmare I remember having in quite a long time. It could have been scenes from a film.

I was somewhere in my middle teen years, perhaps 15 or 16, living in an old, multistory house with my mother. There was an older man there, serving as a kind of mentor to me. He apparently had a young daughter, perhaps a bit older than me, accompanying him. The two of them stayed at the house with my mother and me.

For some strange reason, I realized that up to that point, this man had been teaching me to properly commit acts of violence, primarily murder. I was using weapons but he was also teaching me offensive hand-to-hand, weaponless combat maneuvers. There was also something about a deadline looming over his presence there, and that when he left then I would be forced to either restrain or kill him. So that day came. He notified me by phone (it was an old-skool, land-line, wall-mounted telephone), "It's time for me to go now."

I was on an upper story of the house when I learned this. "Mother!" I screamed. "He's going! He's leaving!"

I raced down the stairs to the bottom floor of the house, and I saw my mother (not my real-life mother, but someone I knew in my dream to be my mother) and the young woman in a wrestling clutch. My mother was losing, and I think it was because the young woman had attacked her with a knife earlier, and my mother was bleeding. I grabbed the young woman by the throat and practically threw her across the room. I rushed over the grab the young woman and dragged her to the couch or sofa or whatever it was in the middle of that room. My mother collapsed onto the couch next to the young woman's body, definitely bleeding from some knife wounds.

At that point I saw the old man come into the room, holding a gun. He looked like he didn't want to use it, but raised it towards me. I wrestled him down onto a loveseat or cushy chair of some kind, holding the knife his daughter used earlier to attack my mother. I was weeping, because I knew at this point I had to end his life. I was shouting, "I must do the work! I must do the work!" I slowly sunk the blade closer and closer to his chest, as he raised the gun and pointed it at the side of my head.

"You -can- do the work," he answered. I was about to stab him in the chest; my dying mother and the dying young woman were also in the room.

Of course, I woke up at that point.

After waking, I was startled and uncomfortable. Dreams are usually vivid affairs, but this one had my heart racing after I'd woken up.

It reminded me of a few things:
- the comic book series "Zero," which I've read and enjoyed, focuses primarily on children trained to be spies and killers in a dystopic modern society.
- the scene in "Saving Private Ryan" where two soldiers are in a knife-fight, and one is slowly stabbed in the chest by the other.
- the fact I've recently been listening to podcast summaries of the work of Carl Jung, and how one should analyze their dreams to determine motivations within one's unconscious/subconscious.

...So what's this one about?


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