Tati

too flexible lol

High school is just not the place to gain recognition from others.
Neither is Middle School, it seems.
Or maybe it's just me. I'm not meant to gain recognition, not built to be with people instead of just being around them.
That's fine. It's also fine that I attach so much value to socializing and being seen. Even if I don't like feeling that way.
It doesn't really matter all that much. I won't be hurting anyone. May be disappointing people, but ultimately, my choices won't harm anyone else.
Food. Music. Sleep. Fiction. independent variables.
soon i'll reach the mark for sleeping earlier and waking earlier the whole week.
I was right in saying that by the end of the day I'd be tired.

Overthinking and my insecurity is like what I've considered hallucination.
And when I say all of that, I'm not accounting for the fact that I feel disgusting and want to tear off my face every time I see it. That is not a hallucination, that's a real feeling and I don't want to talk or think about it.
You'll overthink a situation and imagine all of these possible scenarios, letting yourself spiral in an alternate reality called Possibility. You're literally just daydreaming, hallucinating and worrying over something that isn't real.

How can we differentiate the 'real Reality' from any of those possible worlds? You can't, and I have no idea why I even let myself be so affected by everything around me that can't even be called real.

you know just how to be cruel when you shake your hips that way, I don't care what you say. Michelle. Michelle. You are a monster from

I wanna go home right now and shower and lie down on my bed and disappear. Other implementations, other sensations strengthening, will let me do so even while I'm not sleeping.

extract.