Tati

It's Fine (Every Time) - Roar

I feel like throwing up.
Reflecting on my own feelings and the reptitiveness of it all.
The circumstances repeat, the feeling repeats, I reflect, I cry, again again and again.
I don't want to be happy and energetic. I don't want to be sad and self pitying. I don't want to feel at all, not when there are such things as highs and lows that will throw me around throughout a *single* day. That day becomes a week then a month then a year, and I come to find that nothing improved at all, except for my expectations.
I might as well just start starving myself in hopes that this dumb cycle comes to an end sooner rather than later, something has to break the loop, right?
food. a main contributor to those energy boosts that leaves me to fall straight down into a mood like this. Can my moody declaration surpass the high that a new day gives me this time? my arms are tired and my spine is hurting and i feel like im not getting enough air in my lungs.