Slowly descending into madness
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2022-09-13 04:10:35 (UTC)

I put myself through hell

I miss him a lot. I cry over him a lot. In my defense, I can cry about my unrequited love. It gets lonely here. It physically hurts not being able to talk to him. Everyday it feels like, I'm in hell. You know the description you read about hell? It feels like that. My soul is in agony for 100 years and there's no escape from this. Loving someone can be a curse like this. The saddest part is, he doesn’t feel the same. Hoping for another life while I'm in pain in this life, I genuinely can't wait this to be over.

I always feel like he's doing better without me. That's why I never feel like taking a step towards him. I mean, I'd rather put myself through hell than fucking both of us up.

Speaking of putting myself through hell, bought concert tickets. ICCB. Again. Idk what I was thinking, I saw the line-up and I was like gotta go there. But now that I remember what happened the last time, I feel numb. Idk what will happen if the same thing happens again.