GoodGirl

Guys Online Jerking

Dear Diary,
I sat down to write yesterday eve but kept having errors on this site and it wouldnt load. So there went my writing.

I ended up online for awhile in the later eve talking to this one older guy and then he did the same thing as the other guy sorta? I asked him "So is that what this site is? A bunch of people hanging out getting off while the other person is just typing normal to them?" He replied "If they are on the site more then 5 min, 100% of men come on here with a hard cock and about 70% of women come here with wet pussies"

I find the convos intriguing but at a certain point, I get uncomfortable. He said to me "This is where all the horny believers hang out with one another and Id rather be with them"

Mind you hes in a marriage where he saved himself for sex later in life and married a woman from a website out of the country, so of course that begs you to wonder if shes truly in love with him or came over here for the opportunity. Husband and I were discussing the old mail order bride thing yesterday. And how many of those situations work out, where the people really fall in love, how many are just "arrangements" and how do those marriages go.

Sex is a fascinating thing among married people. Of course lots of unhappily married people online talking about that unhappiness and searching to fill that void. But what of the ones who have a great sex life? Are they just keep it to themselves so we dont hear much about it? Or are they online too, shouting it from the rooftops to those who will listen and sharing that joy they have found together?

I feel a little dirty, in a negative way, I admit after the one dude got off, but then the cool older intellectual guy did sort of the same thing last night and I just backed away, told him to message me when hes "Done" as I just didnt know what to do when someone starts typing down that path, I dont want to do that. It also makes me see how different males are then females at times, and also how simple men can be also sexually.

So lets go back to my Saturday. We stayed in bed in the am, and I wanted him in my mouth, so I was working him up and eventually climbed up on top of him. I was feeling really really good and he was playing with my nipples driving me crazy, but he was having some acid reflux, (hmm this seems to happen often, really messes with playtime, need to fix that!) so he asked for a break, I went and got some breakfast and we showered off, I went and hung out in the living room. He got the mail and I saw he had some packages, sex toys! So he wanted to "Try them out" a new sleeve.

Okay I got a message and its like my mood is just shot to write about things, nothing bad said, its just seems when guys go off the edge saying stuff to me, it hits a point of discomfort in me about talking sex, and I just want to back away, I mean I like to talk about sex dont get me wrong, write about it, I guess the thing is Im not looking to "Get off" with someone else, I enjoy the talk, it can be titiltating and fun, but then when its just straight to masturbation I dont want to go there, I have no need for it. So thats where it makes me feel strange even in an online chatting dynamic. If you can maintain some control, cool. And I know there are others looking to chat and get off and can find someone else for that, I just never know when the chat is going to take a turn, and perhaps I guess they all do? If its a guy? I dunno...

We did end up having really good sex yesterday and the new sleeve, The Bartender, was awesome, the head was so crazy it made me orgasm over and over and I was crying it was so good.

We laid together, talked, showered and made dinner reservations, walked to dinner, and walked to a new place for dessert down the st afterwards. That was the longest carry over high I had as it lasted almost 24 hrs, dont usually feel them that long. Just made me feel really relaxed and loving. You just have this overall peaceful feeling and dont carry stress, you just let go and relax, at least I do.

We walked back home, we did read some yesterday also and again this am, almost finished with the book, we have learned a lot. Working on laundry, not sure what we will do today. No major plans, we did discuss sitting and doing an exercise from the book today, and we need to do our check in.

I feel sad all the sudden, just hit me, I think disappointed by the chat with the guy I really looked up to so far, and then I was in bed all snuggly and my husband picked up his phone, and began to rant on something he read, like really negative, amped up venting and its just made me feel stressed, so I got up and got on with the day, so Im on the couch writing.

Hes in making his coffee now. Im just on the couch, I need to get up and do something to elevate my mood, perhaps a workout in the living room, supposed to be over 100 today.

Lets hope my mood lifts and I feel better.