Lost for words at times
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2022-09-02 01:41:21 (UTC)

Me confronting my complusive buying

I'm still trying to confront my complusive buying of thing's l don't need. I have only one more room left to deal with. My bedroom! I don't want to deal with it at the moment. I'm so ashamed, embarrassed that i've allowed thing's to get this far, but atleast i'm dealing with it now. My son and daughters old rooms are virtually back to normal.

So, how did l get into this situation of buying stuff ? That's what i've been asking myself over the past few days.
I don't actually need the stuff l buy. l get no feeling's of happiness or euphoria when l buy things. Infact when it arrives most of the time l hide it, unopened. Do l feel a sense of shame.. no because i'm not accumulating debt as such, just bloody stuff l don't need. I feel like a squirel stashing nuts incase they run out. Sometimes, l spend hours of my precious time seeking that ultimate bargin. Am l doing it out of boredom? It gives me a headache thinking about why l do it.

I have sold one item on ebay, on a 'best offer' basis. The rest are bids that end next monday night. All the other stuff l have bagged up ready to go to the charity shop. I actually feel sad that l have to let this stuff go, as l might need it at some point. It makes me feel anxious thinking about it. And what am l going to do with the money if my stuff sells, buy more stuff.


The transformation of my bloody American now he has a stable home life, surrounded by his family is phenomenal. Seeing him flourish to his fullest potential is breath takingly beautiful. Although, l will have to fast track on my knowledge of American Football. Maybe that's what l need to do instead of shopping🤣

I was happy that l gave him another chance. Although, tonight.. there was a slight misunderstanding caused by lack of communication. I think l was to blame to be honest🤷‍♀️


Until next time, take care of you x

Grateful for
My family and friend's
Online friend 'K'🖤
My other online friend, Kudo's to you. You know who you are.