Slowly descending into madness
2022-09-01 21:43:34 (UTC)

1st day of September

September always brings good luck for me. That's what I believed until the today. Last year was so happening in September. In 2020 September I got the job I wanted. I reconnected with my best friend in September, 2016. So you see, always something good happens for me. And I actually went to sleep last night thinking the same. But since none of my entries has a happy ending, this doesn't have a happy ending either.

I woke up, I went to varsity, and I got a text from my brother. The building in front of our apartment is under construction and bricks were piled up. A man who sells tea there, sat down and piled up bricks all fell on him. He was pretty much smashed from the waist down. Taken to hospital and was declared dead. Ma was witnessing the whole thing, she's still pretty shaken up.

One of the two dudes I dated is getting married. I'm v happy for him cause he always wanted to get married, and I'm v happy for myself that I'm not the one who's getting married any time soon. To each their own 🥂 I have an intense level of commitment issues. It's not like I go out with a lot of boys or something. In fact, the last time I had a "date" was in February. Most of the time, I'm busy with my own stuff. But it's the idea of being with someone that scares me to death. I'm in love with someone, but if you tell me I will have to meet the person every day, I don't think I'll ever be ready to sign up for this.

Edit: it's 2 am and my brother is crying while watching manutd match because the tea seller stranger died. God bless his pure heart.