Tati

Exempt

Sometimes I wish that ppl in my household were allowed to use curse words. They’re usually able to convey one’s emotions so well in such little words, if you use them right.
But I can’t.

Today, school wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. My back was still in pain.

Today, I tried doing *that* again. It didn’t work. It’s like there nothing there at all. I think I’m really done trying this time.

Visualization/Imagining is something I often do. Not purposefully a lot of the time. Whether it’s visualizing something I can do but probably wouldn’t get anything from, realistically. Or something I’d never do, ever. I assume that’ll never stop, but I can simply not act on it. Knowing that it won’t help.

My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is nearly ruined. I wish I had a penis. I feel like life would be so much easier if I did. Being a girl is a terrible experience that I would never do again. Got me over here wanting to die because I don’t look a certain way, this is some unreasonable crap.

I’m going to eat that thing to cheer me up.
Not gonna listen to a thing because my mood is ruined. And maybe I should’ve avoided them from the get go.

What do I even do. I had stuff I was supposed to do today.

He broke my headphones too so I definitely won’t be bringing these to school.

Today really isn’t a great day. And my phone is dying. I’m sure this is the time that one should focus on positives. To combat the sadness and lack of energy that comes with feeling bad. But I have the tendency to sit in my sadness, maybe lie down, and pretend that the world isn’t moving on from my shortcomings and the things I have a problem with.

I shouldn’t even be doing this crap anyway.

Watch someone play a game.
Watch a kdrama.
Watch a fudging Kpop group documentary for all I care.
Start chopping down the watch later playlists I have.
My List of Netflix and tubi movies and shows that is never ending.
My manga read later list.
My papas freezeria game that hasn’t been mastered for the third time yet.

It’s funny how, despite having so many options in front of me, I still manage to feel so tired of it. If I keep writing I’ll just depress myself further.

I don’t feel so good. Gonna go escape. Escapism. How? How.
I’ll watch bruce play life is strange.
I feel dramatic.