Evolving marriage
2022-08-29 22:23:19 (UTC)

Too much time together

Dear Diary,
Its a chill Monday. I didnt sleep well last night, we fell asleep on the couch a few hrs and I had trouble going back to sleep, plus I was horny!

We got up Sunday and went for a drive to the coffee shop just outside of town and ate and hung out and opted to go for a drive, we went a different way this time, somewhere we havent been, saw all types of beautiful scenery, drove thru a few little towns and checked out the old houses and places to stay or eat for future reference. We started to listen to Esther Perels book Mating in Captivity, once again, great book for married folks. But this one is more about how with our culture and relationships now, we are together too much, dont have enough of our own passions, interests, time apart, basically how curiosity and mystery are important to relationships and feeling erotic. And what happens to people and how they end up married and love their partner but are just BORED.

We were almost home and there was a part where I was like YES! And we pause to talk with books, etc, well he got all ass hurt over what I pointed out and then it spiraled into an argument, it was silly actually but we were both triggered, which happens with us, and we both fight for our viewpoint with some nasty passion in it. So it took about an hour after we got home to hash out the argument and I had some tears and then we settled back in to what the point of it was. Basically I was trying to say to my husband he needs to get out of the house more and it had been a really really big issue before our sex life changed. Hes rarely ever gone, hes underfoot all the time, he doesnt go anywhere and stay the night, go see friends or family (the ones he would see died) and so when I want to be alone, I have to leave our home and go stay elsewhere and Ive done this for most of our relationship. And he doesnt "Get it" hes always around and now he works at home. Ive told him he needs to shut the door, esp during meetings as the office faces the hall which connects to all rooms, I dont need to hear him and see him, I have to get up all the time to shut the door. When he walks out to use the restroom, get coffee, get a snack, get the mail, whatever it is, he interrupts me and what Im doing and its frustrating, and Ive told him this many times that I need some division of space. I cant be alone. I shut the door to the living room to workout and he opens it, I go in to make my meal and he walks in right then and gets in my space and the fridge to do the same and I just want my zen moment of alone time. If Im outside working and super hot, I come in exhausted, just wanting a drink and to cool down, I dont want to have a convo, told him this many times also. Just leave me be please. But then he goes "FIne!" or acts all huffy when I point out Im busy or need space and I told him I dont need that response from him. He just walks in when hes frustrated at work and unloads on me, doesnt matter what Im doing, he doesnt ask if its an okay time, etc. I love him, dont get me wrong, but its too much at times and not a good thing. I dont need him to interrupt me on his way to use the toilet you know? Just go and go back to work! haha

So yeah, Im just telling him that I only get maybe an hour or so alone when he goes to physical therapy, when he used to go shooting I got half a saturday which those will start again, but I mean, thats all I get for totally alone time in my life in our house as hes always here. Meanwhile I travel, go on trips, IM gone for 2-3 wks at a time and have been for the last 10 yrs, going to see family, friends, working on property, visiting sites, I like to explore, etc. So he gets 2 wks to himself at home, ah must be nice! Meanwhile Ive gotta pack, get hotels or places to stay and spend a lot to get that alone time,

And yeah I should be hitting the road in a wk or so. Just spoke to the electrician and he said I can pay him when Im there and I asked if he would put a ceiling fan in for me, he said sure thing. So Ill be away. I was trying to figure out the shower thing, as I have a place to stay and electricity, Im going to go and see about getting a mattress in a box to take with me, I have a mini fridge, window unit, hot plate, etc. And large water jugs with an auto pump. I have a bathroom type outhouse tent and toilet for outside. So I can stay and not get a hotel. But I figured Ill get one now and then for a shower, then it hit me, the GYM! there is one in town 7 miles away, so Ill have to see if I can get a temp membership, its a small town not a big chain gym. Then I could shower there! THat would be awesome and work out too, Not sure why I didnt think of that before. Otherwise I was going to look at the nearest trucker stop with pay showers, as I just will need a shower here and there.

So Ill be off on an adventure, decorating the tiny house on the old homestead. Well finishing it, going to try facebook ads and thrift stores to see what I come up with. So it will be fun to start actually setting the place up and being able to sleep there. ANd not on an air mattress! I want a real bed. As last trip I tried for 2 nights, air mattress went flat, and the vehicle just wasnt comfy to sleep in even with the back seats down. I want a mattress! And with the Ac window unit that will give white noise to drown out the train some. Im excited about this! I just have to be back by Sept 23rd, have an appt with dermatologist to do my face, hands and spots on my legs, and it took forever to get this appt as the girl is on vacation and booked up. It will be to get rid of any age or brown spots, etc. I want to do my arms next but Ill see how this goes, its pricey, and better in the non sunny mos to do it as you have to be covered while it heals as the skin is sensitive. Then in Oct we have 2 wknds, one is a 3 day, another is a 5 day hubby requested! It will be late bday trip, since my bday is end of Sept, and so we have discussed Vegas for one wknd, another maybe going local for a staycation, just a little ways out of town and try them out and do a day tour out also.

We hung out yesterday, husband got us Mexican food for dinner, I took a bath and then we got the music, a blanket, the fascia blaster and oils and we take turns and do our backsides, back, ass, and legs. Its easier for someone else to do all the back. And it feels really good and breaks up fascia, even husbands back of thighs have it, but you cant see outwardly, sucks us women get the cellulite lumpiness but it shows with our skin, he has the same thing going as I do, but cant see it. So I work with the nugget tool on the tight bands of fascia on the backs of his thighs. We were both naked and took turns and just listened to music, we passed out at some point after, I woke up super horny, laying up against him and began to touch myself. I reached back and stroked him some over his shorts. He ended up waking but didnt feel good, all acid reflux from the mexican food. So there went hopes of sexy time! I got in bed and he did too and he fell asleep. I didnt, and ended up grabbing the magic wand and headed to the couch, Ugh I was up all night and masturbated off and on, I was literally trying to exhaust myself to fall asleep! ha, I got into bed around 5am with him and slept till about 8:30am. He said "Why were you up so long, is it because I didnt give you the dick?" I laughed and said "Yes you didnt exhaust me" <smile>

So I got up and showered, shaved everything, got some new salt body scrub and did that all over after shaving, love that! It makes me so soft and prevents razor burn. Ive been doing the teeth whitening strips, one more to go! put on my makeup, something cute and presentable outside the home and ran a load to donate at the thrift, and I stopped in this time, havent gone in mos. I left with a few dishes, 3 books and some antique linens.

Got the mail, drove the truck as its been sitting, we have too many cars and batteries go dead! So drove the truck over and got it out and ran it a bit. I need an oil change on it badly!

Now Im home. Been chatting on a few forums, hit and miss, still paranoid every message that says its a female is just a guy faking. Seriously, Ive never had women message me like this in all my years online. So I dont buy these are women. So Im vague and short with them, some are persistent with the messaging me too! Thats why I think its a dude

Husband will be off work soon, maybe sexy time tonight? Maybe not, Im a little sore, I did the blaster myself in the shower today and wow it makes you sore like you did a workout.

Im heading to the big city tomm, have my hyperbaric appt set up! Woohoo, and Im going to TJ Max, need some things, some grocery shopping, home dept stuff and the mattress store to see if I can get one of the beds in a box to throw in the vehicle for my trip. Will be a long day. Ive considered going up to stay in the cabin out that way, but we shall see, my sis is coming out in a few wks and I have gifts for her I can take there and leave them for her, I keep forgetting and I have bday and christmas stuff, a bag full! So I can get that out of our house and if we dont get to see one another when shes out at least she will have the gifts.

I havent called her for 2 wks, thats a long time, we used to talk several times a wk, then once a wk, but the last few times Ive called her, its so hard to talk to her as shes so negative and just complains. And its difficult to listen to. Ive stated, shes 12 yrs older and working a heavy labor job she has no business doing and her health is not good. She can retire already, but keeps holding out for the maximum, she has no life, hasnt had a partner in who knows how long, she has no time for one, working nights, exhausted, repeat over and over. Her life is being tired and working and no social life. And I cant listen to it, shes chosing this, so I didnt call and check on her, which I should, she could have a stroke! She lives alone and has already had one. But if she did, someone would find out, I have 2 other siblings who are closer. But I talk with her the most.

Oh and I got word my oldest son got a good job! He was working retail for way too long and a dead end job really that wont get him out of California... so thats a plus!

Well, I guess Ill wrap this up for now. Im sure my period is coming, Ive had a light headache since yesterday, the tell tale signs of my period? SUper horny and a headache... check, check. And Id like it to start and get out of the way for my trip!