Tati

alt account

-I once made an alternate account last year, deleted this one. I may have gotten too embarrassed of my entry history or thought that my family might happen upon it somehow. Maybe something of mine got exposed and I wanted to self delete and this was the best I could do at the time.
-I ended up redeeming this diary anyway. I hate stopping in the middle of things for no reason or losing progress. I even mentioned in one of those entries on that acc that I wasn't sure if deleting this one was the right decision (it wasn't) since future me (me now or later ig idk) always wants to be able to go back and look at everything. And I was right.
-I always delete things. Try and backtrack and restart fresh. It never feels the same. Game accounts. Diary entries/accounts. I always end up wishing I'd never lost it or I end up with a trail of dead accounts anyway. Not exactly fresh.

My entries back then were always so sad.
And they make me cringe. I'm susceptible to creating cringe-worthy entries when I'm emotional or especially sad to the point that my writing becomes as shameless as my mind.
I'm not sure how I'll think of the entries I make now. I feel like it's sort of a redemption era. Trying to clean up my act (and my search/writing history...sigh). They aren't as bad, I feel. They're more focused around a real subject. Orrrr theyre more fickle promises and mood driven vows to not interact with people or go outside or eat ever again. Those only last like 3 minutes before my memory wipes it away, the only evidence of it being my diary entry on this site and my app. So yeah. Nothing too bad. Mood swings exist. And regardless of how I think or how I feel for a few minutes or hours, time moves on, I move on, everyone else moves on too. No point in getting stuck I guess, I wish I could carry that sort of view (almost said notion but everytime i think of that word i think of the song, SURE ITS A CALMING NOTION--) with me in those mood swung moments but I forget. So easily.

Anyway my mom just forced me to update my phone just as i was about to try
-blasting through The Chasm(TM) quests in genshin so they were off my plate (MAN I JUST WANNA FIND BRO'S DANG SISTER, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?? WHY I GOTTA GO INTO SOME CHASM DEPTHS NOW?! WHY CANT I JUST DO THE MAIN ARCHON QUEST OR WHATEVER (T0T) )
-and change the language so that i didnt have to read as much ( i rly only wanted the foreign VA or og VA idk bc the in the Eng one every sounded annoying and for some reason the characters baby faces and adult/high pitched voicing made me mad so i changed it. just for the main plot point.) sigh

in the novel im reading now, shi sheng has yet to destroy anyone, unfortunately, although rn she's making allies and making enemies with the lead's like usual lolololol