GoodGirl

Late nite Sex

Dear Diary,
Good Morning,
Well we had a really enjoyable day together out yesterday. We ended up going out for Sushi after the hyperbaric, Mmmm was so good!

Drive back we finished the Esther Perel book, Yay! Had therapy sessions with couples who their was an affair and going over it in depth, she has a good way of handling couples, in some ways of nobody becoming a villian but exploring the Why and what is going on with the person doing it, and the spouse. Etc About couples who stay together after affairs and how it has changed their marriages, she had 3 categories of couples, Im trying to remember the names, but one was like the sufferers or something, other was the builders and I think Explorers? Or something like that. About how your old marriage is dead and its a new one for the last group that is formed out of it and passionate. My husband said "That is us, minus the affair" and its true, I was at the brink of thinking of divorce or having an affair, but I didnt hit the end of the road, but I was close. I was primed for the right guy to come along and say the right things and be available. But thankfully that didnt happen. There are the couples who its held over the spouses head and its unforgiveable and the spouse is pretty much punished and the other is so hurt and resentful and then the other category is couples who stay together and maintain a semblance of the marriage status pretty similar, its more of the status quo type thing they arent overly happy or unhappy, like they dont talk about it and go along.

Our drive is over an hour so its always a good time to just talk or listen to audio books. OH! And we had a mountain lion run across the road on our way home! First time we have actually seen one in person. We know they are around but never have we seen one.

So I got up this am and checked instagram and saw a farmer is cooking dinner and its his first at a local place, its sat, sent it to hubby and we are going! So that will be fun! We went to his farm for a tour last yr and he gave us a bunch of food to take home so it will be neat to go over there again. Love farm to table type dinners.

I did masturbate several times before bed, husband went and got in bed before me. I find since being on testosterone, I can masturbate 3 times a day. Seems crazy compared to how I didnt really do this before, and some days in a session I can go 4-5 times(with pauses) and especially on edibles, I seem to want to keep going. And thats not counting us having sex. So its fascinating to me how different my drive is now. I must have crawled in bed just before 1am(I did briefly fall asleep on the couch) and around 3:30am or so I wake up to my husbands fingers touching me lightly, hmm, then he was still, so I just figured he was asleep and not aware. But then he touched me again, I was against him spooning position with my nightie on but no panties and its always pushed up as he has his hand up under it holding my breasts when I get in bed, thats our typical start out position together, and I just wiggle my ass up against his groin and thats our happy spot. Well he was touching me from the backside and he did it again, then I knew "Hmm is he wanting to have sex with me in the middle of the night?" and a smile went across my face, a big one, in the dark Im smiling and he thinks Im asleep. And Im just HAPPY. For those that dont know, we have been together 20 yrs and he was against me waking him up for sex, late night sex, middle of the night sex, he was crabby, angry grouchy, dont I dare even ask or try kinda guy. Let alone he never put the moves on me in the middle of the night. Since our sex life has changed, we are both on hormones Ive told him if he ever wakes up and wants to have sex, feel free to go for it, Cant guarantee I will always be into it but Ill just tell you if Im not. So a week ago, he did it for 2 nights! And he even said "Now dont go getting used to that, its probably a one off thing" well it happened last night, so that makes 3 times! Woohoo! He kept touching me and then just pressed his cock into me from behind. I was already wet when I went to bed. He felt so good, I reached back and touched him as he was entering me. The thing with sleepy or sick sex is I love how slow it is, how my head is so relaxed and my body, its very sensual and slow. I ended up flipping over on my back so he could enter me deeper while he laid on his side and I could touch him more that way also, stroke his balls and run behind them with my finger, touch his nipples also. I took my foot finally and just pushed him over on his back and climbed on top of him. It was so nice, even thing was so fluid. I just took my time riding him up and down, intentionally pulling up high and then tightening my kegel muscles as I moved on him. Kissing him, he felt so wonderful. And I was so happy. He said "Im going to cum" and I said "I want you to cum, cum for me baby" in his ear and just kept slowly sliding up and down on him. He does a tap on my side when hes ready and I pull off since we werent using protection, and I just caressed his balls and laid up against him as he finished, it was a little more vocal and prolonged it seemed from him which is just hot to listen too. I didnt cum and I was too tired to even get the toy and try, I had already masturbated a few times and orgasmed before bed, so I think I was tapped out at that point. But I was perfectly fine and content. Knowing my man desires me to wake me to make love to me, its a good feeling to feel the change between us. He quickly fell back asleep wrapped around me and I laid there, drifting in and out of sleep most of the rest of the morning, didnt sleep well, not sure why, but I figure Ill just sleep in.

When I got up and walked out this am as the office you pass thru to leave our bedroom, he is working and said "How are you today?" I said "Tired" and he replied "Did someone keep you up all night?" I said "Yeah some guy got in our bed, i was wondering, who is this man?" and he smiled and said "See I can surprise you now and then" and I just kissed him and told him I loved him.

I was thinking about married sex and writing about it, where its glorified in all the amazingness that it is, as opposed to porn for porn sake, and how to you differentiate the 2? Can you? And even married sex can be passionate, animalistic, sensual, basic, duty to give to the other at times where one is not in the mood, it can be angry, it can be dirty, it can be so many things. And its all wonderful. And it can be that way all with the same partner too. When prior to this, Id say we were more slow/sensual when we did do it once every 2 wks or so. Id get really turned on, sometimes if we had an argument, I always had this strong urge to have sex, more animal like after it, to release all the tension from the argument, but that was more me. If things had that variation that typically came from my energy, he was more then content to lay there and enjoy me over him, and then what we used to do, before his surgery and the trouble I have with reaching an Orgasm from penetration, is I would ask him to get on top of me. Hes heavier so I cant have him on top of me for long periods, missionary hasnt really been our go to position, instead cowgirl with me on top is. But Id ask him to get on top of me, and he would press into me fully, flat against me on top of me, Id have my legs straight as it made the opening tighter, and he would thrust into me, looking me dead in the eyes, and me at him, hed kiss me also, but then just press hard and deep, and then he could always move his body up a tiny bit more and get this touch bit deeper after a bit of that and just start to thrust me, and Id loose it, looking up at him, my eyes widening and mouth open and Id orgasm and be able to lay there totally not doing a damn thing and fully let go. I loved that and miss it, and I tell him I cant wait till we can do that again after hes healed enough to get on his knees and on top of me positions (knee surgery recovery)

We pretty much did it those 2 ways position wise, now and then the sideways things in bed also.

But doggie, and the off the edge of the bed and him standing, those werent happening until hormones. the off the edge of the bed started at the beach rental last yr, with the huge king size bed and it was the perfect height for us, and now our new bed is also perfect(the bed sat lower before we got the new one) so that position wasnt easy to do unless you had pillows etc

Husband just walked in to ask me about getting time off work, in Oct. We have his next dr appt then, and we make a day of it as we have to drive and he takes off work, but I asked this time to get it around a wknd, so he did, he got friday, and I said its shortly after my bday maybe we can get away? So he is asking for a few more days off Mon/tues or so, and we are talking of going to Vegas again. Woohoo!

I also talked of these places about 30 min away, for a staycation, they are cabins up on mountain tops, and we could just go have a romantic wknd and stay in one of those, and they also do local tours that pick you up right there, husband says there is a Jeep one 2 hrs to take you up on the mountains for sunset, so we can do all types of things like that, and we need to do it all before winter and enjoy.

Life is too short you know? I look at my big sis, in her 60s, working a hard labor job, killing herself, shes already had a stroke and stents put in, she could already retire, but she never feels its enough, even though we all encourage her to retire, all of us siblings, shes killing herself, she has no partner, no social life, she works nights, shes not young, and shes either gonna die at this job or be in such bad shape at the end she wont enjoy retirement, but shes so stubborn and has been doing this for so long, its sad. To work so hard for a few extra hundred dollars when you may not even make it there to enjoy it or being physically unable. She is not broke, she owns a home free and clear and could sell it for big $$ right now, which if it was me, Id retire, sell her house and leave Ca, she has the cabin in the meantime to live in until she figures out where she would like to settle. But so far no, she isnt there. Almost all her friends at her job have had strokes, and are a mess, even her Dr said "My job is to get you out of that job without a cane" sigh

My brother, he is retired, all my siblings are 10 plus yrs older then I am. He is traveling, big RV, all over the us, they go on cruises, Paris, out of the country, etc. They are doing well and enjoying life as most of us got that wake up when my Mom died suddenly without warning. My brother and middle sis owned businesses and both sold them shortly after moms death. I started to travel more, solo travel after moms death, took a 2 wk trip to Texas on my own and loved it!

We were all raised by hard working parents who came from the Midwest and taught us a strong work ethic, and they were smart with investments and real estate and were not flashy in day to day life people.

So we are what our parents made us to be. Hard responsible workers, all of us pretty financially responsible also, we had to work for every dime, heck I wanted a candybar as a kid? I had an IOU on the fridge to pay back to get it, seems harsh but it taught me very young nothing was free and to be motivated to work for it.

Our guests checked out yesterday, younger couple, they stayed 4 nights, and are on their way to Alaska! Have to go finish cleaning up the place. We dont have anymore bookings but hoping to pick one up this wknd as there is a big event here, so Ill be shocked if we dont get that spot filled. So it will be a lot of fun, we have activities in town all wknd, and a parade, etc. Small town living is beautiful, reminds me of how things were when I was a kid living in California, in the 70s/early 80s, we had all that small town feel, parades, kids all playing on the block together and regular long term neighbors and friends on your block. Kids riding their bikes everywhere, parked outside business with no bike locks when they go in, thats how it is here, and we love it.

Well I am doing several loads of laundry, clothes, towels, bedding, and slowly going about my day.

May all of you married and committed couples out there find true enjoyment with one another and rekindle the flame, its not impossible, we did after over 20 yrs of being together. And I so wish that for others.

Oh, I even said "I really enjoy spending the day out of town with you, previously I would get annoyed and by mid way in the day Id wish that I had gone alone and done errands without you" and he said "What changed? that your getting the dick all the time?" I said "I guess so?" haha

Its weird seeing how it affects my overall mood and attitude. I am less likely to be bothered by small things and my reactions are also less upset when I am bothered by something. I look at him a lot , just in day to day dealing and just stare at him more now and think how hot and sexy he is. And I admire him.... you know? How many couples feel that way?