Gentleman ♀

Friend Or Foe

Hey,

Sorry for taking forever! I've made a friend on here and I've reconnected with an old friend (hiiiii you guys if you're reading this!) so I've been writing a lot! Plus all the family stuff going on and my crippling procrastination, I've been mentally busy. Right now is probably both the most stressed and the most relaxed I've been in a while. I was having such a good day 'till my mom came home. She started yelling at me about my Invisalign and picking and all this other stuff out of nowhere. Even when I was fully and calmly agreeing with everything she said (as most people say will defuse a situation) but she didn't care. She'd end the argument only to come back and scream at me again only a minute or two later. She did this about 5 times before giving it a rest. During the 2nd or 3rd "break" I was about to get in the shower and had a candle lit but she took it away. She'd already taken away my phone and my makeup (I'm writing this on my Chromebook which she usually forgets about) but apparently, that wasn't enough after I literally did nothing except lose my Invisalign for a half hour. I tried to take it back but she said no so I just waited for her to REALLY leave me alone then I got a few more candles and stuffed them away in the bathroom. Now I'm in here with the water running, lights off, candles lit, muffled music in my headphones. It's perfect. I'm not even getting in the shower soon, I'm just trying to convince them I'm in there so they'll leave me alone. I can't wait 'till they finish the bathroom downstairs, then I can really take my showers in peace. For now, I'm just praying they can wait an hour or two lol.

I've been talking to Olivia a lot lately. With school growing nearer by the day it only seems fair that we reconnect accordingly. I find it funny because we're already right back where we left off when school ended. We're not even back in school yet either! We keep talking about Vinny again. I'm so sick of him being an asshole to everyone. Especially Olivia! If you're not familiar with Vinny then here are a few of the things he's done. Told me my haircut was hideous, told our friend that her haircut was hideous, told Olivia that her birth was a mistake (unplanned), told me that I was a bad friend and that nobody wanted to be friends with me after I stole a carrot off his lunch tray, cheated on Olivia after lying and saying he liked her, and MUCH more. I get that he has anxiety and that teenage years are rough but we're all going through it and none of us are horrible to each other! We've tried talking to him, giving him space, doing nothing, we've done everything! I don't know how to feel anymore. It's like I'm trying to ween myself off him but I don't even want to. In the end, Olivia and I made an agreement that if he says anything mean to one of us that we'll tell the other so they can verbally kick the shit out of him 'till he apologizes. I hope things are different this year TUT

I was talking to my online friend today (hi again if you happen to read this) and the topic of online creeps came up. Now, Imma be perfectly honest with you, I couldn't care less what your age is. I think people on the internet are either way too cautious or way too dumb. Smarter people see dumber people getting hacked and stalked and interacting with creeps and they become afraid of everyone. Just because pedos exist doesn't mean that everyone and their dog is one. I don't think it should be underage or overage, it should be creepy or not creepy. Older than 18 does not immediately mean disgusting creepy yucky person.

Like, if we did the same thing irl we'd never get to know anyone outside of our age range. If anything we should be more cautious irl! Irl you can get mugged, raped, drugged, or even gang raped. It's terrifying! But not everyone irl is going to do any of that to you so why think that everyone online is going to do something? If they act creepy then report and block them, if not then I don't see anything wrong with talking to them. As long as neither you nor they are giving out personal info or anything that can get you hacked or stolen from or anything like that then I say go ahead and chat. I see zero problems.

Have I written about my new psychiatrist yet? Cause he’s really cool. Well, my definition of cool lol. I was talking to him and first impressions, he’s probably gay. He’s got the look and the talk, pretty gay. He also does LARPING and cosplay. He told me about his one cosplay as Waluigi and I’m obsessed. My mom was stalking him on Facebook (lol) and there was a picture of him at a convention and one of him and his family(?) dressed as marvel characters. This reminds me, I never showed you guys my Kirishima cosplay so I’ll put that at the top of this entry.

Goddamn it! You know that guy I was just talking about? The older one who I didn't mind talking too as long as he's not creepy? He just asked me to date him! What the actual fuck? Fucking pedo! I'm so upset! I really liked talking to him too, he was so nice before. Now I'm just waiting for his response them Imma block him. [LATER] He responded and I don't know what to do now. If you're reading this (the guy), I know you can and I'm not going to hide anything from you. This is my diary and I'll write about whatever life experiences I want in it. But anyway, I'm still a bit iffy. He says he wasn't proposing that we date but he also said things like "I didn't even know your age before I caught feelings" or "like me that way" or " last thing I want to do is to keep a lady waiting" so I'm not entirely sure if he's telling the truth. Either way, I'd be happy to just forget about all of this and talk like normal if he so chooses but I refuse to be tricked into catching feelings. It's not being rude, it's a little girl on the internet protecting herself. I'll let y'all know what happens in my next entry, this one's getting long. Goodnight guys!

Update, I just blocked him lol. No thanks pedo💅✨

~ Gentleman