Punk

A while.

It's been a while for a reason. My life is in shambles. I
live on a daily basis now, hoping for an increase in
happiness. A lot is going for me, but not a lot in the
friendship area. I audition for IMEA saturday, and placed
first chair in the band. I got my report card today, and my
GPA is a 3.167. I also got my car back tonight. Tomorrow is
Thursday, and I get to see my friend Megan at Youth
Symphony. That'll be great. I love music. I'm so into punk
right now. Just the music. I haven't really lived it like i
used to. It's just not the same without my friends. That's
basically all that has changed lately. And it's for the
worst. I lost some good ones. But I hung out with some of my
older good ones too. All this just gives me so much time to
think things over, and that's when the depression seems to
kick in. The other night I was the car with my dad coming
home from washington. I had gotten in a fight with some
friends, and i seriously started balling. I wanted to open
the door and jump out of the car. I absolutely hate it when
I pre-meditate suicide. It scares me. I know I have a lot
going for me, and I can't let my depression make me lose my
life, and all of this opportunity. But it's so hard. I need
help to, and it's so hard to find these days. Well, homework
for me, so I'll write more on a later date. Peace.