dvb

taking heed
2022-08-08 22:31:36 (UTC)

sometimes you don't want to say anything but you want others to know you exist

even if i wanted to write comprehensively about my troubles, i couldn't really, with the new low water mark state of my arms in the last couple weeks. they don't even really feel part of body right now. and they taint my phone usage experience. ever since that damn *redacted*. fuck. today the right one was especially labouring. another grim glimpse into my uncertain future. actually it's pretty certain.

but i had the shroom tea last night and i reckon i found some peace in it. i embrace the absurdity of my situation once more. i'm mostly content with my path. my aunt made a comment in a birthday card about me taking an unconventional path. i wonder what she knows about my path. she's not wrong tho. this is not according to template.

i only wish i could figure out how to be in your life as.. authentically? as possible. that's not the right word. (we're in a fight, i'm largely to blame).

arms tapping out. it's rainy, there's a rainfall warning. some tropical type air mass.

i finally got around to watching the rehearsal, the new nathan fielder show. and that was easily the best decision of the day. it got me more emotional than the zooms somehow.

he's a really great guy. and i need o.. anyway. i'm spinning out in ND burnout mode for what seems like forever. the arms situation feels like it's trying to clumsily claw me down in the social order. your social standing deteriorates the more disabled you appear to others through the ablest lens. it's a double uppercut. with...




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