GoodGirl

Coming Down

Dear Diary,
Feeling a little off today, but not terribly off, like not down, but just a little Off?

So I was up for a bit, but finally went to bed, not even sure what time it was. I must have used the toy about 4 times total. I swear, when Im high, I just LOVE riding the high of edging with sex. Like I can live right there, edge me over and over. My husband said I must have been laying there for an hour with the vibrator on myself and he was laughing. Listening to sexy music, vibrator in my hand and my husband laying next to me exhausted by me and my stamina. It makes me feel awkward at times. When Im still going and its just me. Anyone else encounter this? So thats often why I just want to be alone when I am feeling that way, but when we are high, it just prolongs that state for me. Just one chewy little gummie size bite and I feel so sexual/sensual. We all get hit differently with things, he tends to get more of a body high, a relaxed state in his body. Me? Im sexually aroused and I also just want to dance. Those are the 2 things I notice about myself. I just want to slow dance, sway, hot sexy, seductive. So Im often dancing with myself if you will, in the way I move or tease him or suck on his cock, IM literally doing it to the music when Im like this. I already have much more stamina then him but throw an edible in? I think its even longer. Ive had him in the past have to practically ask me to stop giving him a blow job as I was sucking on him for so long lost with the music. Its like I lost track of time and have to be brought back to reality.

And its funny, when guys say You have a lucky husband! I hope he views me that way, but what is it? we always wish for the things we dont have and not focus on what is right before us and take it for granted. I dont think he realizes how lucky he is, if that even makes sense, like I dont think he gets how much other guys love these things that hes just indifferent about at times. But throw in being Aspie and you have a whole other set of brain wiring, and emotions and feelings that are different to process.

So I got up today, did my workout and wave plate, some arm weights. Have guests arriving for the vacation rental for 2 days.

Im trying to figure something out for myself.... my writing, my thoughts, my sexuality, whats going on with us, etc...

Podcasting perhaps?