kestrel

kestrel
2022-08-08 05:39:16 (UTC)

First World Problems: Dating

Personal entry follows.

I'm on a discussion forum for a topic completely unrelated to romance, relationships, and such (it's farming- and gardening-related). So imagine my surprise when I saw this topic appear in one of the "water cooler chat" sections of the website. I'll include a relevant excerpt here.

"In any case, it appears that the number of people unhappy with the current dating situation is alarmingly high and growing quickly, and I can see it myself. Maybe we can brainstorm and learn more about the situation and learn from it. Maybe we can learn about ourselves. Perhaps even some people here could feel so similarly about what is wrong that it could serve as a starting point for a relationship. So, in your humble opinion what is wrong with dating today?"

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with the lack of coupling going on - in particular, with the subset of people this person was referring to (specifically, those who lament their lack of relationship success on various social media, like TikTok or YouTube). I think it's a good thing that women are more picky and are less-willing to settle for some low-functioning schlub, or abusive jerk, or womanizer. I also think that it's better for humanity and even the planet itself if fewer people were around.

If you look at the worst-case scenario for contemporary society and the dominant culture, I see a few points of hostility that might draw serious concern with women who are considering their future:
- Abortion is becoming more and more illegal in the frickin' United States.
- The majority of males are being educated about sex through the free porn they watch on the Internet, which consists mainly of women being abused and treated as objects, not as fellow humans.
- Doctors routinely "deny permission" to women who want a histerectomy before they are through with their "birthing years."

This is a perfect storm for male entitlement and the abuse of women. Why anyone with a rational mind would subject themselves to such a snake pit is honestly beyond me.

"Loneliness" is possible, sure. But being part of a relationship doesn't guarantee a lack of loneliness, and I would think it invites the possibility of codependency or dependence (likely via emotional abuse) just as frequently as it might assuage any loneliness. There's no guarantee that you would be completely satisfied were you to be in a romantic relationship, regardless.

Now granted, this is coming from a guy who has sidelined any priority of being in a meaningful, romantic relationship with anyone for the next few years - unless I find a woman who truly knocks my socks off. So this could easily be written off as a bitter screed written in jealousy, envy, or simple sour grapes. But my main argument is based on the three points above, which I really can't present any more hospitably.

Were ladies interested in taking my advice, it would be this: if you find out a guy you want to date is into porn of any kind, stay far away. Of the three above, that's the aspect you have the most control over. Men who watch porn regularly are trash, and there's a lot of 'em out there. You ought to hold out for a guy who has found a way to kick that habit.

Bloody hell, how have I ended up so misanthropic?


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