The Queen

2022-08-06 08:14:27 (UTC)

Another online journal- even tho she says cute notebook

Soymaya Etoujis prompts list
1 why am I here

2 who am I

3 do when not being watched
[I don't wish to repeat these every other day, it's very burdensome for my brain]
4 compare 2 n 3 what's missing
Something would be missing when there'd be who am I and who i want to become. 😒
5 most authentic self with

6 intention
Somatic therapy, listen to my body,my body wants to sleep.
How do people wakeup at say 5 and read and learn. I feel sleepy.
Do graphic design internships on Radical x
Get pipe for watering plants.
I bathed on Thursday. So bathe. (the laziness that befalls me)
Fix what to do when no electricity and otherwise.
Wash dishes when no electricity.
Bathe in the evening when no electricity.
Sleep eat when no electricity.
Candy crush saga abandon once again. Because sleep baby.
7 negative beliefs about Allah
It's difficult to think of this area and i choose not to force myself.
8 true beliefs regarding those things
9 feeling now
Sleepy. I did sleep last night maybe at 1 30 or 2 n i woke up at 5 45. HOW DO PEOPLE STAY AWAKE AT THIS HOUR. Because they take morning bath?😴
10 what to do to feel better
Go to sleep. Yet the dishes are waiting for me. 😹
11 grateful for
12 proud of
For recontinuing journal writing. And managing 2nd day in a row. EVEN THOUGH I'M SLEEPY.
13 today as a masterpiece
Wakeup. Duas.
Pray. Adhkar.
Water plants.
Morning 🛁.
[Make and eat breakfast. [And leave for family.
Drive to my job.
Get my salary.
Come home have A AHH today is a weekend. ]
With family. Drive to the beach early morning and have breakfast. [Also it's summer and because of sea deaths they've closed the sea]
IDK sit at home and chuss marna.
Try a new recipe.
[Haven't created a list of food I've made successfully WITH HELP 😹😹😹]

14 doing what
And ig my sour relation with my toxic relatives would've mended. And the new recipe I'd make I'd take it to their place. AND THEY'D STILL BE TOXIC AND MAKE SOME HURTFUL COMMENTS BECAUSE some people just don't know any better 😹😹😹. But yeah I'd have healed and tended to my wounds with compassion.
Or attend some workshop. Or volunteering with something to do on the beach. Or giving more time to plants.
15 with whom
Family and relatives.
Plants. And my non existing cat.
16 feel how
Feel how if today was a masterpiece 😹 no ifs. Perhaps I'd feel horny and be looking at matrimonial sites who knows. And feel cringe at the thought of having to have a man around me. There's a part of my brain that needs rewiring . For some reason it's disgusted by the idea of men. Or man.
17 look like what
I'll always look like a colored fashionable woman. With vibrant youthful colors. With healthy organs hair and skin.
No spectacles ANYMORE.
18 what to do to get there
Seed cycling
Continue with mishri black peppercorn and ghee.

Some post i read on IG long ago
1 write everything down
Nhi likhunga, pagal smjhawa puray din baith kr likhta rahun, kuch andaza nhi hai k kitna waqt lgta likhne main.
2 identify priorities
My rights.
Driving license.
Paid job.
3 do a brain dump

Nhi m kyu karu
4 organize to do list

Abhi need arahi hai
5 take time to reflect

Kya kya reflect . Nhi krna reflect.
6 stay flexible

Kıs bat m flexible. Koi mile nhi phir bhi flexible.

1 what you love

Plants. Rainbows. Beach. Marine life. Fish. Savoury food. M. Z. Killing houseflies. Perfume. Dining out. Good food. Natural drinks.

2 what you hate

Unhealthy behavior. Toxicity. Lack of self awarenesses. Inability to speak for oneself. Lack of boundaries. Demotivating others. Throwing unnecessary comments.
3 what's in your head

Sleep in my eyes.
Brain in my skull.
Money on my mind.
Hereafter all over me.

4 what's important
Success for the eternal world.
To be saved from dajjals fitna and other fitan.