Kim

catkrazylady67
Ad 2:
2022-08-05 20:06:03 (UTC)

Today

I've been so busy the last 4 days I've hardly had time to think about that next beer. Every time I pass the liquor section I get my first chip in my hand. They say that when the chip melts in my hand or my mouth I can drink again. That's one wish I doubt will ever come true. At least I have somewhere to go and can bear my thoughts and Ideas and nobody tells you how to fix it. Only hang in there and keep coming back. This scares me. I can get locked into a room with 50 assaultive inmates but this is scary. Today for the first time I finally realized how angry I've always been at the whole world....my abusive mother included. I can't believe It got so out of hand so fast. There was one woman who sponsors people that gave me homework (2 readings to read twice a day) and they are scary. She basically told me to trade one addiction for another, over eating. I'm suppose to think of nothing but praying for others and helping others. I don't even know where to start since I can't seem to help myself but they say that comes with time. The other thing that scares me is the spiritual end of this. I realize that's always been an issue (they say that comes in time too). All I can think about is going after more beer and I hate beer. It's so nasty tasting but I just can't seem to quit. I've been sober for 6 days. Everyone helps to make me feel that I can trust them to say what I feel....they say they have been in my shoes. Every time I said that was the last one I found myself at the store buying more....I can't figure out how that happened.

I got my new phone in, finally and had to order a shock proof case. Get this, they are still selling them or giving them out and quit selling the cases to protect them. Go figure. I ordered the case and then after it's been shipped they sent it through the USPS and that scares me because I'm not paying the post office $40 a month to deliver the mail. Maybe it will get here,


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