Evolving marriage
2022-07-31 20:00:22 (UTC)


Dear Diary,
Have had a nice chill wknd thus far with some sexy time thrown in. We went to dinner, they had so many specials on the menu we wanted to try. We had a great time, had a great table, and then headed home. We took our edibles mid way thru dinner as they are the ones that take over an hr to even begin to feel them. We got on the couch, put on some music, I put all of our blankets, the soft ones, leopard, pillows, all out for us and stripped down to a tank top and underwear. We just lay on the couch together for hours, doing questions, talking, I lay in his lap as he sits up in the corner of the sectional sofa. I wish I could remember the order of things, but friday night and Sat night all blend together.

Lots of play, toys, sex, on the couch, standing, then into the bedroom and over the edge of the bed and on top. At one point husband got up for a bit later into the eve and he came back with the vibrator. I sorta remember that and we had some Rocco on the tv, and the next day husband tells me "YOu are so cute, you literally fell asleep while I was using the vibrator on you" I laughed "What??? I did?" and he said "Yes, you were first moving with it and moaning and then all the sudden you went silent, and I wondered if you were okay, or did I upset you, you didnt make a noise at all" Im dying laughing and apologizing. He said "Oh it took a bit till I figured out you passed out" and I laughed because I dont remember anything, I was gone! He said he just watched the rest of Rocco and Jerked off with me laying his lap, I said how hot that was and wish I had seen it. So the next eve I crawled over into his lap and made sure he had a blow job to completion, since he missed out the night before when I feel asleep. So thats all that edibles might do, just make you feel dopey, want to sleep(depending what type) and makes sensations and sounds heightened.

We were answering sex questions all eve and just having interesting convos. Then crawled into bed around midnight and passed out. I love waking up in the am, when he wraps himself around me and I turn to face him, I said this is the best thing, to wake up with him, spooning, I ended up doing the breast pump. I can feel a twinge in the am, like a tiny ache and its like about the time my body should be pumping, so I can tell its already having an impact when I dont go as scheduled. Husband stroked and rubbed the other breast and played with the tip. We ended up progressing to him fucking me from behind in bed while spooning me. He fucks me good this way, and then he got the sleeve and continued and then made it into some role play dr exam talk that was dirty and hilarious and I just played along. The best part? I was now on my back but he was still on his side facing me, I had my pussy up against him and was pressed up against him and my legs over his body. He was sliding around near my ass, mmm hmmm, bout time! And I helped him get to the right spot, we were so lubed up with coconut oil and slick, it slid right in, it was perfect and he fucked me like that. It was so good, I love the sensation in the ass and I can take the thrusting, he went to grab the toy, he was using Bumblehooves, but it was too hard to fit that in me while fucking me in the ass.... but prior to that he had made me cum with the toy,,, and then we both came together as he fucked my ass.

We had so much foreplay and touching, after about 15 min I was starting to feel horny again, laying there as my ass felt all slick and wet, I made a comment that I was still frisky and he said "Go ahead" I got the toy and was vibrating my clit, he was laying there, then leaned over, touched my breasts and got the Bumble dildo and proceeded to plunge it inside me, holy shit, I had several orgasms from that thing, the head on it, WOW. I just kept cumming and he laying over my abdomen holding me down as he did it, my legs were shaking and I was flailing some as it was so intense.

And then we laugh, and we sigh, and he says "I love you darling" and I say "I love you too" and then he says "How did I get so lucky to have such a good girl with a dirty slut side to her?" and we just laugh and kiss and talk. I ended up caressing him and laying over his abdomen and rubbing his thighs, the coconut oil making his skin slick and great to massage, I run my fingers and press in deep like pressure point and then glide and tug as his muscles back and forth, and then up around his balls I cup them and hold them, then up his cock that is limp now and exhausted, I moved my hands back down and behind his balls and near his asshole and put pressure and touched, then moved back to his legs, over and over, alternating, grabbing his cock and pulsing it and then putting it down and moving back to his legs and thighs. I got a little moan out of him when touching his ass and noticed his cock starting to grow again and grabbed it and squeezed and stroked and then back to the legs. I ended up saying it was my turn to play Dr Exam on him, got the black rubber gloves and he was on his back edge of the bed and I fingered his ass with my middle finger, then 2 fingers, but also saying I had to test the reaction from his penis to this stimulation (you know for Dr data) :) Sucked his cock as I fingered his ass. He was loving it and I alternated, but eventually he had to quit as he had to run to the bathroom and we finally called it quits for now. Said we can pick this up later this eve. I finally got up out of bed and hopped in the shower to rinse off then a soak in the tub in epsom salt. All is good! Husband came in to hop in the tub after me. And we have agreed this is just a chill day, nothing we have to do. So we will take a recess and go do our own thing around the house. We spend almost all our free time together now, and we were not like that before. I used to be begging him sadly to spend time with me, to get off his phone or computer to come hang with me. Now its not a question, we are together by default. I dont have to ask. I dont have to get away for wks at a time every few mos, id be gone for about 3 wks every few mos. And Id not even masturbate back then when I was alone really! Maybe here and there, but really hardly ever. Read some article that sexually satisfied women tend to masturbate more often, interesting eh?

So hes off doing some writing, I have some bookings for the vacation rental, one coming in tomm, so need to spruce up a few things but its ready to go. Also have a meeting to attnd tomm nite also, so guests arriving and a meeting,

Weather has been wonderful since I got home, clouds move in every day and have had rain off and on, makes for such nice eves in the house with the cloud cover making the skies moody as we are just enjoying one another. I ordered a light cube, something dim that moves to music but we dont need big lights on and can take it from room to room or travel for a sexy mood. Right now I turn on this 70s Hollywood Regency Style chandelier I have with a red glass shade and red bulb shining through the crystals for our mood lighting.

Oh I forgot to write, yesterday am we did get up around 8am as husband suggested we go to the new coffee shop. Its in an old gas station, tiny town, and I had avocado toast and a green drink and some cookies to take home, we sat at a cafe table, people watched all the out of towners coming in, and the sugar cookie was so good! Big fluffy pink frosting on top. Ill have to get more next time! So that was nice, just taking a drive through the gorgeous mountains together, and we just marvel, I say often "I love it here" or "I love our life" or things like that. As the last 2 places I lived, I did not love, living in big cities, and the garbage and lack of peace. Also lack of beauty. Our nights are dark skies and lots of stars and crickets, barely any st lights, rainy skies, sitting on the porch together talking.

When my gf cut my hair, she layered it, per my request, once I wash it, it changes as she straightened it, so now its all curls.... and looks shorter, but its not, has shorter layers but still the same length but bounces up so high with my curls, just below my shoulders, when it was halfway down my back. Have to play with it some more and figure out how I want to style it.

Things are good, I havent responded to my youngest, after all his mean texts when he started to use again. ANd my oldest son telling me "Dad is getting the same thing" when I believed that already but now I know its true, made me strangely feel better its not just me, he just lashes out and dumps on us both periodically. But its ruined my desire to make the trip to see him, when I was seriously planning to do it within a month or so. Scrap that idea! As my husband said "He will not be coming to our house" and I know what he means, he had to go through their teenager yrs as a step dad who was home part time working away and it was my home before he moved in and I owned it, so he didnt feel he had much say over them, when we bought our last home out of state, he kicked my son out during his visit where he acted up and was proud to defend his own home and feel he had that say now. Im the Mother, they are my bio kids, not his, so I get it, even when they are jerks, we love them, but I dont want to enable stupid behavior or disrespect.

So thats why it sucks he turned again as it has been the longest stretch of good talks and quiet from him...

So its just us here, in our love den. Making love and fucking the days away between work, yard work, travel, etc

We have an appt soon for his knee surgery follow up, and we are meeting to do our estate/will/ etc stuff, and also the hyperbaric therapy to name a few things.

It feels strange, our life now, its a good thing, but its so much of a 180 of how we used to be. It wasnt that our marriage sucked, and when we had sex it didnt suck. It was just so sporadic and limited, and reading how at my age Im in my sexual prime as a woman, and no wonder its been even harder for me, as I was in a dead bedroom for a good amount of yrs, not totally dead, but close to it if I didnt pursue it, and he could do his once every 2 wks with me that might be about 15-20 min. It was good when we had sex, I always orgasmed. But it was short, it wasnt super creative, even down to the time of day I could do it was limited, he had so much apathy and disinterest in sex. Depression, low testosterone, mental things from his childhood, bad patterns we established and assumptions.

Now we keep the curtains closed longer in the day as we are walking around naked all the time and having sex. I know it wont always be this way, but man I love it, we have been going at it since last Nov really. The kinky sex started Feb or so of this yr? We just started to talk more and get more and more deep with the questions and the kinks.

We have fallen in love with this son listening to bedroom pop, Check it out, My husband said last night "Im your Frankenstein" and I said Huh? He was referring to the song, brown hair, dirty converse, height, haha, that was cute, Its a catchy tune and great for making love too (I remember giving him a blow job to this song in Vegas and literally had my ass in the air moving to the music) Alright gonna go clean up a bit around here.

Claire Rosinkranz - Frankenstein