Notes from my Black
Control vs. people pleasing
While visiting my mom, who lives on the coast, I took my book to a couple stores. One bought it immediately. A few weeks later, my mom went in there (never had been in there before) and they had my book prominently displayed in the front of the store and the kids section. I’m humbled. Suck kind people and they obviously saw value in it.
The other store, I called and the owner didn’t know who I was the first time or the title of the book. She had been too busy. She asked me to call during lunch, promptly at noon. I did. She didn’t know who I was and hadn’t looked at the book. She said she’d call me the next day. She didn’t. So two days after she didn’t call back, I called her again. She again didn’t know who I was and although she didn’t look at the book, she did remember that there was a book. Progress? Whatever. I asked if she would be ok with me sending someone to come pick it up. She hung up on me.
Funny thing. I didn’t want the book to be purchased because of anything but the merits of the book. The owner of this store is in fact my mom’s neighbor. Not direct neighbors, but close enough my mom knew who she was and presumed the other woman would know her. They run in similar circles and have seen/ met each other at functions… had conversations. My mom had nothing bad to say about her, but said they were not friends. I wonder if the woman will remember my mom…
I’ll find out later today. She’s supposed to go and pick up the book. She’s also going to the other store to purchase a book for her neighbor.
I waffled a bit on riding this wave of disrespect in the name of selling the book. The bottom line is, she didn’t care enough to care at all. My mom used to be that way. Busy, busy, busy… terribly busy, far to busy to talk to you… it caused a few disconnect problems between us over the years. I’m not a demanding person. It really. But when I call once a weeks and 10 minutes into a call you have to go to scoop the litter box… or change over the laundry, it’s clear you really just don’t want to talk to me or know about my life in any detail. I’m glad that has changed a lot.
She still freaking hates my family. I’m not letting that stop me from having a relationship with them.