Evolving marriage
2022-07-18 19:02:06 (UTC)

Little Sleep

Dear Diary,
Good morning, well afternoon. I slept maybe about 3 hrs total last night. I had a massage at 10am and woke up around 9am not wanting to get up, but made myself shower off, put my hair up and make my morning drink (electrolytes, Apple Cider Vinegar and juice from a lemon) Its a Dr Berg thing :) And ive been doing it for yrs and love it.

Im also taking serrazymes right now and my sinus stuff is almost gone, I notice when I take them it clears that junk up instead of Mucinex and all giving me those bad side effects. The only thing with the serrazymes if you have to take it on an empty stomach, or it will just eat and digest the food you have, you want it to go to work in your body. Its a fascinating thing, There is serrazymes and serrapeptase and both do the similar thing, one if from mushrooms, one is from the silk worm. And it goes to work in your body on things, your sinus, lungs, scar tissue, etc now and then it gives me cramps so I didnt take it before my massage as I didnt want to be on the table and feel ick.

The girl is super nice, conservative church gal, sweet and does a great job. I had a 90 min and its always interesting where you go in your head, and I was fighting falling asleep, I think I dozed briefly but felt I was breathing into a snore each time that woke me up. At one point she was on the side of me, she wears a belt with the massage oil on her waist and is pressed into my side, and it reminded me of the feeling of my husbands hard cock against me. Funny thoughts that flutter into ones mind eh? I need to find the episode of Friends, I heard about where I think Monica gets a massage and moans, like a sexy moan during it from what I heard. Yes makes you wonder if you would ever accidentally do something like that when you are so relaxed as the only other person who deep massages my body is my husband and I do moan and tell him how good it feels on certain places, you dont wanna do that at the massage place.

I think about my friends, my closest girlfriends. My sister, etc. None of them have any idea what I am like, and what our life is like now. I dont have them to talk about sex with and Id freak them out probably anyways. Especially in the christian circles. Which is a bummer you know?

When people ask "How was your wknd? What did you do? Got any plans?" I just answer "We hung out" Or pick out something we did do and go on about that, even though that may have been 1 hr of the entire wknd. I mean you cant answer and say "We were naked, having kinky sex, eating edibles, watching porn" can you imagine how well that would go over?????

I literally would be told I need to repent, demon possesed, need deliverance, etc

And Ive lived in that world for over 30 plus yrs of my life and believed and followed all of that. I didnt view porn AT ALL for well over 10 plus yrs, said it was wrong. I didnt use any substances, only alcohol on occassion for social stuff. And I try a gummie edible and have the time of my life with my spouse in our own home. I dont have a hangover after, and our bodies have cannabanoid (spelling?) receptors, which is why we respond to cannabis, etc. Its part of us, and I was reading articles as I didnt get high when I tried pot Once when I first met my husband, nothing happened, and the first time I tried edibles with him in Vegas, nothing happened. From reading it said it take about 2-3 times for some people to feel the effects. And well, that is me!

I think its why I enjoy talking to my one son, hes into mushrooms, fungi, organic growing, psychedilic stuff, psychology, we can talk for hrs, and Im much more open minded then I was even before. id listen to him but did "Get it" at times.

I think edibles are pretty cool to be honest. I dont have to smoke anything, stink, worry about my lungs, I can eat something the size of a gummie bear with my husband have a cool rest of the day together, just relaxing, sex, listening to music, eating, just hanging out and relaxing really. I have told husband, I am horny though, so I dont think me without him would be a good idea on edibles, as I just want to have sex or be touched and loose myself in that for hours. Its different then alcohol, my husband reminded me alcohol is poison to our bodies, literally which is why people die all the time from alcohol poisoning and use. Not from cannabis. Yes one can become addicted to edibles also like anything else. To that feeling, but we reserve it for when we know its a wknd or we have a chunk of time and dont have to do anything and can just be together. And you dont feel like shit in the am like alcohol can make you feel or mess with your blood sugar and all that.

I wonder what my friends would think of that? Of me taking edibles? Would they judge? I dont know, but Id be more prone to admit to that rather then all the kinky sex.

I listen to the couples on the podcasts and wonder what it would be like to hang out with them, and we could, attend the events and meet and greets, and maybe one day we will. I love how open and honest they are, matter of fact and have fun together. Most are long time married couples, with children, homes, pets, work a job, you name it.

SO anyways, I made my smoothee for the day, going to pay some bills, and figure out what I want to work on next around here, its cloudy, chance of rain and humid out, so Ill be indoors.

I figure Ill get started on decluttering some more stuff and a donate pile.

Have to run to the city tomm am for a follow up appt at the dermatologist, was kinda annoyed, didnt know I had to see a different person to get age spot removal, and make a separate appt, would have made them all at once with the drive I have to make, but oh well.

Havent heard back from my gf about my hair, last 2 times she had me come to her house and we spent half the day together, but she hasnt gotten back to me so Ill probably call the salon and book an appt just so I have it set up, dont want to wait to long as I have more trips and hopefully work ahead on our property and need to get these things out of the way.