Evolving marriage
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2022-07-14 22:57:34 (UTC)

Entrepreneur Brain

Dear Diary,
Got cut off yesterday as the auto guy came out to tell me my vehicle was done so had to just submit my entry.

We are heading out in about 30 min to go look at a property I talked about in the last entry, our old realtor back in other state called and hooked us up with a realtor to see it. Also found out the old historic site next to it is included in the sale. The realtor said its been in the same family for over 100 yrs.

I have been texting with the landscaper today, showing him gate inspiration pics and the back porch deck pics, asking if hes able to do this type of work, he has said yes to all of it?! Wow, I thought I had to hire a carpenter and all these other people, and this guy says he can pull this stuff together, so pray this is our guy and this truly does come together.

I spoke to our realtor friend a bit today on the phone also.

Talked to my big sis

Ive been researching gates as he said to send him pics of what I like, have to figure out what I want for the driveway. I only gave him a pic for a side type of gate. I didnt think Id find someone who do custom stuff like this since all of our experience here has been so limited with what people can do. So I have to go with my real wishes, and not just settling for what they only do.

So this house we are going to look at, would be an ideal rental or vacation rental, cute little old house, small enough to easily maintain, heating and air has been updated and some of the flooring, metal roof, but still has a lot of original woodwork and the kitchen! Love the old sink, and then it has a cool old building that was a business long ago on the backside, have no idea the condition or if we will get to go inside. Im more curious about that, when we moved here I wanted a building I could use for my own shop, and we havent seen anything turn up. So even though its a little higher priced then husband likes, we have to take into account its multipurpose (depending on condition, work needed)

I was listening to a vacation rental podcast and got some really good ideas today, I have to do some work on ours, I feel like since yesterday Im snapped out of sex mode and back into entrepreneur mode. Which is where my head was a lot prior to all the time we have been having sex.

Its stormy and cloudy, and we plan to go see the Elvis movie tonight also. I forgot Baz Luhrman was doing this one, and its playing here and most movies are here a wk or so in our tiny theatre, so I want to go! So thats the plan!

I really want to get on donating more stuff.... getting more things out of here. Ive got the vacation rental cleaned up and opened up for the wk, will see if we get any last min bookings. i had it set aside for our realtor friend but hes pushing that off for a wk.

I came home after my day out so appreciative, I grabbed Indian food for us and we sat together and I just said "We have a really good life babe" and he agreed.

Oh and I got our appt set next month before his dr appt in the city with a guy to set up our estate/trust/will stuff, we havent ever done it, and its time, we have too much now that it matters and my grown kids were sorta out of it for yrs and off the radar and yes jerks, so we werent sure how we would set all of that up, still not 100% sure but thats why we will talk to someone about best way to set that up. And we need a trustee. We have my middle sis whos it for my big sis and was it for my parents, shes the financial, accounting, etc type, but I just feel like Id put more on her? But I dont know who else to ask, husband and I will have to talk it over, and this is only if something were ever to happen to both husband and I. We dont want our estate to go to probate. I need to lay out some things and have better ideas now, and the kids are in their mid 20s, they will mature more and hopefully be better, things are feeling better for me with them so far, not as close as Id like, but better.

This is a result of my ex, who was abusive and I protected them far too long even after our divorce, and he trashed me on a regular basis, and they idolized him.... he encouraged them to mistreat me. So I didnt have support when they were growing up and teenagers, instead he encouraged the abuse and to not listen to me, and it made for a bad situation. I locked myself in my room a lot and cried in my closet so they wouldnt see me, I called my Mom all the time. I didnt want them to see me weak and let the work get back to their Dad that he was getting to me.

But my kids dont know that part of me that was wounded and hurting as I didnt let them see any of that. I didnt say bad things about their Dad, my attny even said I did that to a fault.

So yeah, trying to rebuild things as they get older. My youngest has been in and out jail, drug use, domestic violence, and for the first time since he last got out and left that state, Ive talked to him more then before and better conversations, and now hes coming to terms with the abuse done to him I didnt know about,,, and starting to confront it, and I can listen and easily talk to him and support and love him through it.

My oldest confided in me a few yrs ago some of his abuse, but he stays more silent, doesnt talk a lot, still in our hometown, he seems to be doing fine, working, a gf, and lives with roomates, but I dont see him going anywhere and wonder how long till he tires of this, we keep encouraging him to come visit us, we will pay for a flight, or gas $$ to drive, he has said his next vacation, so we shall see if he truly does that. They have never been here and I think would LOVE IT. They have no idea what our new life is like out of the big city.

Well thats it for now, off to see this property!

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