Slowly descending into madness
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PS I love you
I slept all day. I did text him, to let him know I don’t have a problem to add him back. It is true. I no longer give a fuck what he thinks about my posts. There are better things to worry about in life.
June sent me something, told me that it's secretly me when I don’t pretend I don’t give a shit to anyone or anything. It was a picture, the words written on it were:
i love you earth i love you people i love you places i love you things i love you life i love you love i love you emotion i love you connections i love you living i love you ordinary things i love you community i love you society i love you culture i love you everything
And I whispered to him, don't tell this to anyone, it's a secret.
It is true, I love love love love love-
However I always gotta act that I'm tough and I'm so tired of it. I want to go somewhere where I don’t have to pretend that I don’t give a shit. Where my kindness won't be labeled as "emotional charity". Where I can live, where I can laugh, where I can sleep when I'm tired. I just want the small things out of life man. Hence I want out.
I want to go some place, where my words and thoughts won't feel twisted. Does it make any sense?