Slowly descending into madness
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2022-07-05 22:41:27 (UTC)

Fifth of July

Late June and early July skies look extremely chaotic and beautiful. All so red, so yes, chaotic. I only go up to rooftop with my friends or my grandmother, never alone. I'd go up to rooftop just to enjoy sunset everyday if a voice in my head didn’t keep continuously telling me to jump. And I've measured the balcony. There's an extended floor as well, I can't just jump, I can never make it look like an accident and get away with it. As I've said before, planning a suicide is way tougher than planning a murder.

I don't feel like doing anything these days. I stopped eating, I don’t sleep that much. I'm slowly losing the willingness to keep going. I'm so tired of pretending I'm happy.