kestrel

kestrel
2022-07-03 16:46:14 (UTC)

Personal: To My Artist Friend

Personal entry follows.

I have an old friend with whom I'd collaborated on music and film projects in the past. In late 2021, we became much more close and even on somewhat physically-intimate terms, though since I was leaving town I'd personally avoided such a commitment. There were times I would visit, and we had plans to watch a movie, but when the pizza arrived we'd spent so much time chit-chatting until the wee hours of the morning and it was way too late to watch a film of any length.

Since moving, I'd not heard much at all from her, though when I did receive word she noted that her physical and mental health had plunged, that caretaking for a relative (with dementia) has been a demanding job, and that she'd in general been having it rough.

Today I wrote her an email, and I hope she receives it. I miss her and I wonder what her life is like right now.

///

Hey there, [friend]--

I have no idea if you'll read this soon, but I figured what the hell I wanted to write you anyway. I've been thinking of you and your health and wondering how you've been lately.

Of course, [the place I'm living at now] is a wonderful place and I'm enjoying nearly everything that comes my way. I'm working like a rented mule these days, but the weekend is when I am off, so I go eat donuts and then return to play with the kittens. I've built fences, re-plumbed showers, hauled a lot of water, and of course worked in various gardens. It's been intense and enlightening.

Honestly, I miss the conversations you and I would have about life, and the state of the United States, and of course sexuality. It seems strange to consider that I feel like so much of my life is radically different compared to even the first few months of this year. More to the point: relationships and sexuality seem so far away from my priorities that I even remarked to a remote acquaintance that I sometimes feel like I did before I knew what sex really was. Since May, relationships and intimacy have been like foreign concepts that I'd have to study to make sense of once again.

Fortunately, I'm left with little time to dwell on such matters. We work at least five days a week: gardening in the morning, handiwork in the afternoon. Now with events happening, I typically have 10- to 12-hour days. I'm in charge of KP/"Kitchen Patrol," and start a fire three times a day to warm up the dish-washing station. I collapse into bed usually round 9:30 in the evening or thereabouts.

On my most recent trip into town, I invested in a larger, second tent. Now I have all my belongings under a roof of some kind, instead of wrapped-up in a tarp or whatever. I'd like to invest in a heavy-duty canvas tent like they would have at Boy Scout camp I attended as a kid, so maybe I can stay in a tent for three seasons a year. That's close to $2K, so I'll have to think about it before pushing the button on it.

Also, life out here in [this area] is a world away from the rest of the world. I've heard that everyone thinks COVID is gone for good, women have no Constitutional protections for abortion rights anymore, they publicized and provided live feeds of the Heard-Depp case on YouTube of all places, and Ukraine and Lithuania are poised to be the hot-beds for Cold War 2.0 and perhaps the flashpoint of nuclear war. Interesting times, and all that.

It doesn't stop the work we do here, though. And it rarely enters discussion at all. At this place, it's all about how to spread the word of regenerative agriculture and [efficient heating] to the masses. With the price of fuel as high as it is, it seems like people will have less of a chance of avoiding these kinds of technologies, anyway.

I suppose I could ramble on about anything else on my mind, but I'll spare you. Hopefully you have a chance to read this. If you do: enjoy the summer! Write back if you can! Take it easy and eat a snowball for me.

--kestrel




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