Evolving marriage
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2022-06-27 07:41:37 (UTC)

Sick & Sex

Dear Diary,
Later on today as we laid in bed and I was stroking him he asked if I wanted to get back on the edge of the bed. I was aiming for a blow job, its been over a wk. This is actually the least amount of sex we have had in a week in sometime. And no regular blow jobs, yes we have been sick, but Id still have done things but dont think hes up for it. Well the minute he got up to do something he said he didnt feel good. So I said just let it wait, I put on the arousal oil which takes about 20 min anyways and went to the kitchen, made new batch of theraflu and browned up the meat I had in the fridge, figure we would want food when we were done and Id be too tired to make it. Well I felt hungry cooking it up and asked him if he wanted to eat, so I made a quick snack of nachos using chips, cheese, salsa, avocado and meat with taco seasoning. It was good and we needed something to eat. I wanted a snack, being sick we havent eaten a lot these days, and so I got a bowl of the granola, almond milk and bananas, gave him half of it as I felt full.

We laid around a bit and I just so badly wanted to give him a blowjob. But I just didnt get the vibe he was into anything.

We ended up going to the bedroom and talking and he got kinda jerky which resulted in me just getting up and going out back and laying on the patio furniture, looking up at the sky, the bats are out eating bugs and swallows and watching them all fly and dart around. Being in my head, not in the mood to type all that was said, but I was frustrated. And he went to the bathroom so I just opted to go outside instead of lay there frustrated. He ended up coming out and sat with me and we talked some more, I asked him questions, asked him about compromises, about the things he said earlier in the day, as he just was saying the opposite by the eve.

We ended up on the couch, talked some more and then silence, he said "I love you" several times and I know its him wanting me to reply to reassure him its all good, and it gets annoying at a certain point, I just said " Why not tell me to go to the bedroom and Im taking care of you with the vibrator" and he said "Okay well lets do that" I didnt need him to have sex or anything big production as he claimed, those were never my words. Its just that he makes comments, gets me excited, and then backs off and changes his mind, and Im left frustrated, I get it if hes not well, Im cool with that, but just leave me alone then and dont get my hopes up and make it sound like something is gonna happen then turn around on me when the time comes. Just keep quiet then, or just a simple, lay down, Ill use the toy, we could be done in minutes and Ill be satisfied.

Well we went to the room, I got the vibrator and told him to use the big glass dildo, hes never used it on me, he did tonight, and got all into looking at it, saying how sexy it was to watch, well eventually he told me to turn sideways and dropped his shorts and had me on the end of the bed afterall. See what I mean? He says he doesnt want to or doesnt feel good, but then when I just say fuck it and do things anyways, he changes his tune after seeing me getting aroused. And he fucked me hard again on the edge of the bed and made me squirt again. Oooo its nice like this. Something feels different the last 2 days with him, his erections feel harder and he just feels larger, not sure why, or maybe because we havent had sex as much this wk, the sensation is greater and we havent used as many of the toys and sleeves. Well he wanted to try the new sleeve he just got, the Repeater its called, super ridged. It was amazing, especially the last bit inside of me, it felt like it was on my clit and the sensation but it wasnt? I have no idea how it felt like that.

We went at it for a bit, got the vibrator, but I just couldnt cum and he was sweating and said he was running out of steam, I said that was fine, and we stopped, and he went to clean up. He didnt cum so I said "Can I suck on you when you come back?" He said yes, but then came back sounding like No, I just said, if your not okay just tell me, and I said "Im just going to use the toy and cum and finish off" and he said that was fine, I then said "Id love to have you in my mouth" and he said okay and holy crap, its like he changed gears the minute he was in my mouth, the excuses and Im too sick talk, was out the window, he moaned and said how awesome it felt and he felt so good in my mouth, It had been over a wk and the last 2 times the taste was bad, I said it was either soap or the testosterone cream got on him, it was hard to take him and then he has been bitter since the surgery which I figured was the pain meds or something changing the taste of his cum. Well it was only a few minutes, it was a bit aggressive, the sucking, his movement, I was so thrilled and he felt so nice in my mouth, I started to cum with the vibrator and he did in my mouth, and I was worried Id have to spit again or gag from the taste, but tonight it was all good! He didnt taste bad, and I was so happy and was able to swallow again(was wondering what was going on the last few times and why I couldnt) and he just said he was light headed, nauseus, he literally got a drink and practically went to sleep. I was telling him how good he felt, how nice he tasted and he was just zoned out, So I flipped off the light, rubbed his thigh, snuggled against his arm, told him I loved him and appreciated him, that he went above and beyond. As I just wanted to get off quickly since he said he didnt feel good.

So yeah, hes been fast asleep for over 2 hrs, Me Im awake went and sat on the couch. Praying he feels better tomm and we turn a corner on this bug we have. I feel better today overall, my most normal day.

I want to get back to my morning walks and all that good stuff!

Well Im gonna go shower off real quick and probably go get back in bed and listen to a podcast to fall asleep too, later

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