2022-06-24 00:03:00 (UTC)

It's been days

It's been days since I wrote. I feel... so odd today. Maybe it's lack of sleep. Maybe it's anxiety. But I feel oddly calm.... so maybe not that.
Today he wanted to have sex. I guess I've thought about it tons this week. But when it came down to it, I just felt too uncomfortable. Tired too... but even if I hadn't been... still uncomfortable.
I just don't feel... vulnerable anymore.
Like all of the work to make me vulnerable with him went away.
I can't imagine kneeling. Or crying. Or being naked. Or suffering. Or anything.
Anything that requires being vulnerable.
I don't know what it is. But hopefully it just takes time.