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2022-06-18 23:19:14 (UTC)

Me watching that video on ..

Me watching that video on healthy methods of weight loss knowing full and well that I intend to drink straight water and air until we have food that isn’t junky in this house. Probably still going on that jog. I’d honestly still rather not be the type that eats that much, regardless.
I’d rather look like I’m on the verge of death and feel like it too.

Or maybe I won’t. But I intend to.

And it’s like, in my case, I have none of the problems she listed. No diet obsession or eating disorder. I just have problems with my body. I think it’s ugly and looking at it, especially my face is painful. Even feeling it, just being in it, and acknowledging (remembering) parts of it just makes me feel terrible. But my scars, the ones I’ve made, and the feeling of bones beneath this skin are things I don’t feel the need to shy away from.