GoodGirl

Bad News

Dear Diary,
Its almost midnight. Had a several hour nap this late afternoon, so Im not ready to pass out just yet, even though I slept very little the night before. We had sex again this morning and then progressed to some toy play. By the time we were done husband was exhausted and said hes given it his all. Hes done, ha, I could have kept going, but we switched gears for the rest of the day (not by my chosing) :)

Luckily we had food made, quiche, brownies and a casserole husband made the other day, so we didnt have to do any cooking, just reheat things and we were good, which makes for such a kick back Sunday with no prepping food or have to go get take out or something.

We did try another one of the edibles earlier in the day, a brownie one we hadnt tried. It did kick in, slower acting, takes over an hour, but we sat in the living room together talking and I was on the wave plate and started to feel it. I got up and laid over with husband on the couch, we talked and listened to more of Esther Perel's book and I drifted off at some point.

Husband was watching cartoons and weird things, I just curled up in his lap off and on the rest of the day and slept several more hours later on in his lap on the couch.

So I go to the kitchen this eve and pick up my phone to see a text saying my Uncle (moms brothers) has lung cancer, spread to both lungs... sigh

I stayed at their house end of last yr and my Aunt was really annoying and they started to rag about my mother (I think I wrote this in here) and so I didnt try to see them the last visit and I was there shorter time because of husbands surgery. My moms younger sister was also there for my visit but also for my brothers.

So yeah, my grandpa died of lung cancer when I was in Jr High and we all went back to see him in the hospital. So to see my Uncle, his son, with the same thing is heartbreaking, my Aunt and Uncle had quit smoking almost 10 yrs ago, but had a long lifetime of it. So I have no idea how quickly things will happen, will he still be around by Sept when I go back? My Uncle had said to me after my Moms funeral when he flew out and we took him to the airport, I hugged him and he said "This may be the last time I see you, I wont be around much longer" but its been about 6-7 yrs now since that? And I did get to spend some time with him, but hopefully I can do so again soon.

We have lost so many people, family wise, my cousins still have their Mom and Dad, we lost ours in the last 10 yrs. And my one cousins wife just lost her Mom about a yr ago, so we are just at that point in life where its happening more and more.

Life is truly too short

Dont wait to start living. We arent promised tomm

I noticed a little pink when I went to the restroom this eve, period coming? Makes sense with me being tired today and light headache feeling and Im always horny right before it starts. check check check, all the boxes.

Will be nice when the periods stop, Im in early menopause, but my estrogen levels are still good and Im producing it normally, not on that, it was just my progesterone and testosterone that were low and that I supplement with. But there will be a day in the near future I can stop worrying about a period and pregnancy, woohoo! And no more condomns :) Im not into taking pills IUD etc, I like to do things as natural when possible. So its condoms and I know when Im fertile as I learned long ago to chart that in classes I took.

Husband has physical therapy in the am, Ill go do my laps around the track while hes doing that and wait for him to call me to pick him up, but yeah, he got out and walked all day with me yesterday around Costco and other places, most he has been out and hes not used the crutches either, so hes getting around on his own now.

I have to call a friend back home about doing an AC job for us, he said he would come out and do it as I offered the vacation rental to him also to stay in. So we have to discuss the job further.

Alright, well guess thats it for tonight